Nathan Carpenter’s selective mutism stops him makng conversation with strangers, but the teenager has found his voice in singing.

He tells MARION SAUVEBOIS his story AT HOME Nathan Carpenter was just like any other boisterous little boy, talking a mile a minute, barely giving his parents a chance to keep up.

But the moment he entered the school gate, the lively toddler simply shut down, head hung low on his chest and incapable of uttering a single word.

It is not until he turned four that his apparent shyness was diagnosed as selective mutism – an anxiety disorder which prevents children from speaking in certain social situations or in public.

Although it finally put a name on his unexplained and concerning timidity, Nathan and his parents were handed a booklet with basic information on the disorder and left to cope with the day-to-day struggles on their own.

“When he started nursery, he was so chatty on the way to school but the minute he entered the school grounds he would stop,” said his mother Michelle, 51, of Jefferies Avenue. “He wouldn’t even talk to me. He just shut down. He would go all day without even speaking to the teachers.

“On the way home he talked and talked. It would all come out. He had bottled everything up all day.

“We just thought he was being shy and that he would grow out of it. We even asked him ‘Why won’t you speak’ but he would say he didn’t know.”

His first year at primary school proved more of the same until a teaching assistant asked permission to spend time one on one with Nathan to get to the bottom of his inability to communicate.

He opened up, even singing to her, but only when they were alone. In class, Nathan would be as quiet as ever.

When he was four years old, his parents arranged for Nathan to see a psychologist.

At last someone had an answer – their son’s selective mutism was physically preventing him to speak. As hard as he tried no sound would come out through no fault of his own.

But with limited knowledge of the condition and barely any help except for a manual, it would take years for his parents and Nathan, now 16, to fully understand how to manage and cope with the frustrating and incapacitating condition.

“It was really frustrating,” said the New College student. “I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. My mouth opened and nothing would come out. My body wouldn’t let me. It would stop me. So I just gave up.

“The worst place for it was school. But I didn’t feel scared of going to school.

“And I couldn’t explain it. People didn’t understand. It was harder with the teachers than with the pupils. I couldn’t talk to them. I felt misunderstood by them. They were pushing me to talk and I felt under pressure. I couldn’t even drink or eat in front of anyone. I didn’t want to be noticed.

“When I was about 10, I started to be able to talk with my friends and some teachers at Nova Hreod. I knew selective mutism was caused by anxiety and stress. But I still felt in the dark. I didn’t know why I couldn’t speak to some people.

“I would take me a long time to speak to someone when I first met them. It still takes me a long time to get to know people. But now if I can’t do it, I don’t force myself. That makes it worse.”

Throughout the ups and downs and years spent wondering whether he held even just a small chance of one day overcoming mutism, singing became Nathan’s way of expressing himself – cheating his mind into letting the words out.

Last November, he took this musical outlet to the next level, not only joining an amateur drama group but later entering a prestigious national singing competition, Open Mic.

While the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger is unimaginable to him, performing to an full auditorium could not have come more naturally. Finally he was able to show off the voice he had so often feared he may lose for good.

“I would sing a lot when I was little. I found it was easier than speaking. But then my voice broke and I struggled.

“When I was 11 or 12, I used to make movies with my dad’s video camera. That helped me put myself out there.

“In November last year I started singing again. I started recording myself and making videos on YouTube. My dad bought me recording software I just thought ‘We’ll see what happens.’ It was liberating. ”

Nathan, whose father Steve, 53, is the caretaker at Crowdys Hill School, even recorded a CD of covers including hits by Westlife and Green Day. One day last autumn, he played the album in Crowdys Hill’s hall. One of the teaching assistants was so impressed by his talent that she immediately contacted Geoff Marsh at Stage Struck. He invited Nathan to audition.

Undaunted at the prospect of being put on the spot, he relished the opportunity to finally express himself and show his playful and creative side.

“Going to Stage Struck was the push I needed,” said Nathan, who now studies performing arts. “That audition was the first time I sang in front of anyone. It was just in the old school hall at Drove School. There were about 40 students there. Geoff asked them to go out but they were watching through the windows and they listened from the hallway.

“As soon as I started I was confident. I sang Won’t Give Up.

“In May this year we did Dreamboats and Sinking Ships. My mum sat and cried through the performance.”

This proved the stepping stone he needed to fully embrace his dream of singing professionally.

In September, he entered the Open Mic competition and has since made it through to area heats. On November 23, he will face judges in the hope of being selected for the nation final at the O2 arena in London.

“I’m still surprised I can sing in front of all these people. When I’m on stage everything is a lot easier. I feel different. It’s the singing me.

“I find it easier to talk to people now but it’s still a battle. But it’s one of those things you’ve got to fight.

“I don’t know if I will be able to overcome it but it’s one of those things that get better with time.

“I feel proud. I didn’t think I could change that much. It gives me hope.”

WHAT IS SELECTIVE MUTISM?

 Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that prevents children speaking in certain social situations, such as school lessons or in public.

However, they’re able to speak freely to close family and friends when nobody else is listening – for example, when they’re at home.

The child is not refusing to speak but is literally unable to speak, feeling frozen.

Selective mutism affects one in 150 children.

It is more common in girls and children of ethnic minority populations, or in those who have recently migrated from their country of birth.

Children with SM often have other fears and social anxieties and may have additional speech and language difficulties.

It's not always clear what causes some children to develop SM, although it is known to be associated with anxiety.

With diagnosis at a young age and appropriate management, children can successfully overcome this disorder.