SWINDON people are a bunch of unfriendly miseries, according to a survey by some outfit called Public Library of Science ONE.

No, I’ve never heard of them either.

The claim came as a bit of a surprise to me. In 17 years in Swindon I’ve only occasionally been told: “You’re not from round ‘ere.”

Mind you, the unfriendly people who said it weren’t from round ‘ere.

So we sacrificed them.