AN exam helpline has been set up with the backing of assorted reality TV stars, ready for Thursday’s A-level results. 

Students can call 0808 100 8000 on the day for practical advice about their options.

Far be it from me to muscle in, writes BARRIE HUDSON, but if you happen to be an A-level student, here are a few nuggets of information.

The most important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t worry too much if you haven’t got on to your university degree course of choice.

You could always do some re-sits and try again next year.

This is a good bet because (a) you’ll have the advantage of knowing roughly what to expect in the exams and (b) you’ll be a glamorous object of admiration among your classmates. That’s because you’ll be able to drink in pubs and perhaps have a car thanks to your savings from a part time job.

This aura of worldly sophistication will remain with you when you reach university – hopefully the one of your choice – next September. You will then be able to impress your younger fellow first years by being a bit creative when they ask you what you did during the year between school and freshers’ week.

Avoid telling them you spent a gap year travelling, though, and especially not anywhere near Thailand or Goa, as everybody and his or her dog does that. You may instead wish to drop hints that you served as a mercenary among some faraway people who are so oppressed that they don’t even have a Wikipedia page, a Facebook presence or any other means by which your story might be verified.

Incidentally, if you do happen to have a car, avoid taking it with you to university as you’ll be setting yourself up to be the designated driver right through until the day of your graduation.

If re-sits don’t appeal, you could sign up for some other course. Obviously, if you’ve set your heart on being a surgeon, a vet or an engineer, this isn’t an option. There’s nothing wrong in being a person with a degree in, say, Medieval History or Political Theory and Institutions, but you wouldn’t want one trying to fit your new hip or designing the rudders of your flight to Malaga.

Otherwise, you’ll be fine if you change your planned subject, because three or four years hence you’ll discover that your choice of degree has about as much relevance in the workplace as your favourite flavour of crisp.

Once you reach university, you should read at least one book at least roughly related to your subject as soon as possible. You should certainly make sure to do so before returning home with your first batch of washing.

Having read this one book, even if it’s a brief account of the Corn Laws or list of alloys useful in making lavatory chains, you will be equipped with far more knowledge about all matters than your parents, younger siblings and anybody else who isn’t at university.

Do not hesitate to express opinions during visits home, as your thoughts on anything from gender politics to the morality of economic theory are the definitive ones. It is your duty to educate and enlighten everybody else, especially your parents and members of their generation, who are mired in ignorance.

Using words and phrases such as ‘dialectic’ and ‘robust interrogation of the prevailing narrative’ will help.

Finally, whatever your choice of university, do not worry too much about student loans. Yes, they may seem set to hang over you for most of your working life, but they’re administered by the same calibre of official who ultimately run most other aspects of life in this country.

Just send them a letter saying something like: “I regret to inform you that I died last week in a tragic Scrabble accident.”

Either that or go and live in a country where young people aren’t ripped off or exploited.

The weather will probably be nicer, too.

... and don't forget to follow our live blog here on Thursday