Becky Hillier, 26, recently became the fourth generation to join the family firm as a funeral director. She lives in Swindon with her husband Matt, who is a teacher

DIRECTING funerals is the family business, but it’s one Becky Hillier came into entirely of her own volition.

Just two months on, she is 100 per cent convinced she made the right decision.

“The total job satisfaction is once you’ve gone to see a family, you’ve made the arrangements, and up until the funeral you’ve made sure they’ve got everything there that they want. You’ve made sure that the person who has died has been laid out in the chapel as the family want. You’ve conducted the funeral and afterwards, when they say to you, ‘We’re so grateful for everything you’ve done, you’ve done us proud,’ that’s the satisfaction.

“That’s what I find really rewarding about the job - although people are coming to you in a time of need and a very upsetting time, it’s the way we can help people through that difficult time.

Becky’s father, Mark, is managing director, and her mother, Val, is company secretary and bereavement care co-ordinator. An older sister is a doctor in New Zealand.

Becky went to Highworth Warneford School and New College, where she studied law, history and English literature. A degree in law and history at Swansea followed.

“I was always quite ambitious career-wise,” said Becky. “I always saw myself going into business, whether it be owning my own business or starting at the bottom and progressing my way up.”

She readily admits she wasn’t sure what to do after graduating, so she spent a summer working at the family firm’s office.

“I managed to get a job at Nationwide in the September. I was a contract management specialist in the procurement department. I started as a temp and was taken on quite quickly as a permanent member of staff, and then worked there for four years.

“The family business was always something that was in the back of my mind. Over the past year or so I started thinking about the future a bit more. Knowing, obviously, that my dad would be thinking a bit about retiring in a few years’ time, I discussed it with my husband and we decided to sit down and have a chat with my parents about it.”

Working outside the company is something her father also did when he was young.

“Before he joined the business he went to work for Glaxo Kline for three years because Grandpa wanted him to be sure it was the right career for him. I went to work for Nationwide and made my decision that this was the right thing for me to do, and after a couple of months in the business I don’t regret my decision.

“Certainly, people do ask what makes you become a funeral director, and if we didn’t have the family business then people would probably ask that question a lot more.”

As a woman and a young person, Becky defies two stereotypes about the funeral industry, but that doesn’t especially concern her. As children, she and her sister would help with tasks such as washing the cars and helping to prepare for bereavement care events. There was never any squeamishness.

“It was something we just knew about. It was never something we really discussed as a family, but obviously I was aware of the family business.

“I feel that everything I’ve learned at Nationwide has given me a good grounding, because at Nationwide I did website design, some advertising – I got a good range of experience of things I can implement in the business.”

These days, for example, many people tend to find funeral directors by looking online, although word of mouth remains important for old firms such as her family’s.

Aside from that, most of the tried and tested old principles remain.

“Although the business has modernised with the times, it’s the family values and the customer service that have stayed the same.”

Becky has already learned one of the most important rules. “I think you have to distance yourself emotionally from it. Not in a bad way – you still show compassion – but to be a professional. There will be cases that will affect you for quite a few days afterwards.

“But when the family comes in they want somebody to give them that reassurance. You show them compassion and give them the advice they need in an easy way to understand.

“A lot of people have concerns about making sure they do the funeral right for the person who has died. Every funeral we do is different and every funeral will be what that person wants, whether it’s the music, the flowers, the minister, the location. Everything is unique to that person.”

Becky is especially proud of the aftercare service begun by her father about 18 years ago. Clients are invited to come for bereavement care, and about 30 per cent take up the offer.

Becky added: “Every family gets invited to our annual remembrance service as well, which is held in October at Christ Church. We usually have about 300 or 400 people come along to the service. We have ministers from all different religions come in and speak, and we have a choir and a band.

“As everyone comes into the church we hand them a leaf. It’s the symbol of life, of remembrance, and half way through the service we ask them to come up with their leaf. We pin it on a banner for them and give them rosemary, which is what was traditionally given out at funerals in the olden days. Everybody was given a sprig of Rosemary to plant in their garden.

“Then we raise up the banner with all the leaves and it’s quite a powerful symbol of remembrance.”