“THE hardest part for carers is the isolation, some of them don’t go out – they’re worried something is going to happen,” says Debra Brown, her gaze sweeping the room.

“You can’t predict anything with dementia, but here they can relax, it’s no fuss at all.”

It is Wednesday morning and the SEQOL dementia café is in full swing. On the sofa in the corner, two carers are chatting animatedly.

Their husbands are by their side – one listening for his name to be called out in the weekly raffle, the other balancing a rubber ball on his shoulder carefully following a health coach’s instructions.

Others sip a warm cup of tea lulling to the soothing music playing on the radio.

Dementia continues to make headlines with an estimated 2,280 people living with the condition in Swindon alone and nearly 7,000 in Wiltshire. As the population ages, the figure is only expected to grow over the next decade.

But while fundraising appeals and research drives are gathering momentum, the reality of the condition – and its toll on the ones left to pick up the pieces at home – is often overlooked.

For many, caring 24 hours a day for someone with the disease leads to a life of isolation. Fearful of public outbursts or embarrassment, many stop socialising altogether and slowly withdraw from the outside world.

Hearing again and again the harrowing stories of loneliness and strife reported back by social workers, Debra, a project manager at SEQOL, set the wheels in motion for a social group aimed at dementia patients and, crucially, the people devoted to their care. In February, the SEQOL Café for Dementia Sufferers and Their Carers was born.

“More and more people are diagnosed and we were keen to give them an opportunity to get out with their carers,” adds Debra. “It’s as much about sufferers as the carers. Mingling and having a giggle is important.

“I don’t think people realise how hard the carers work. They can’t pop to the shop for even five minutes.

“Some people are finding it embarrassing to take their partner or a parent out. There a variety of problems. They might do something people might see as anti-social or odd behaviour. They might get a bit frustrated or angry. Or they might just start singing really loudly or shout.

“Here it’s not a problem, but if it happened in a public café people would stare. There is a chap here who used to be a boxer and he will go right up to your nose with his fist.

“He is just being funny, but some people out there could find it intimidating. It’s about giving people with dementia and their carers a choice, to get back to others and enjoy the company.

“From week to week you can see new friendships being built. It’s lovely.” Dementia is an umbrella term for a set of symptoms including memory loss, difficulties with thinking, problem solving or language and impaired judgement.

It occurs when the brain is damaged by diseases such as Alzheimer’s or a series of strokes.

Regardless of which type is diagnosed (Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, dementia with Lewy body or young onset dementia), each person will experience dementia in their own unique way.

The risk of developing dementia increases with age, and the condition usually occurs in people over 65.

The café, which is funded by the social enterprise’s charitable arm, SEQOL Community Foundation, initially launched in Pinehurst but moved to a new venue at Crowood House, on Gipsy Lane in June.

It runs every Wednesday from 10.30am to 12.30pm.

Users are invited to join in games, quizzes, light physical exercise, arts and crafts activities or they can simply mingle and enjoy a hot drink.

The café also holds a weekly raffle to help fund group outings. Recently the 20 members enjoyed a day trip to Marlborough.

“From being homebound they get their social life back,” says café volunteer Steve Barker.

“They just needed that open door to walk through. Every single person is a little brighter when they leave than when they first arrive. They have that extra spark.”

Since her husband Jim’s diagnosis in 2013, café member Margaret has lived in a constant and exhausting state of alert, for the most part at the mercy of the 74-year-old’s unpredictable behaviour and draining meltdowns.

The few hours spent at the café each week come as much-needed respite from her responsibilities as a full-time carer.

“There are not many things you can do as a carer,” says the 73-year-old.

“You can’t leave your husband alone, you can’t go out.

“It can be difficult when he gets frustrated. The café has been a godsend – it’s saved my sanity.

“It helps to meet people on the same boat, you know that they understand.”

Through the café, Margaret met her now close friend and confidante Ann, 76, whose husband John, 83, was diagnosed a year ago.

Together they now take their partners out for meals and they have managed to restore a semblance of normality to their lives.

“It can be very isolating,” says Ann. “Their personality changes, and you’re not prepared for that.

“We have children but they are busy, they have their own children and we don’t want to bother them. Anyway, they don’t live it 24 hours a day. It’s hard for them to understand what you’re going through.”

Debra’s role is not only to facilitate socialising between carers but signpost useful charities and services and ease the burden wherever possible.

In the past she has helped carers find ways to prevent their disoriented partners from leaving the house in the middle of the night or flagged up simple solutions to keep them safe at home – all for the most part small steps, which in the long-term have made a huge impact and given families immeasurable peace of mind.

Debra is hoping to run the cafe several times a week to allow those unable to attend on a Wednesday to join in.

“If I had my way we would be open every day of the week,” she smiles. “Carers deserve that time to take a breath from a very tough job.”

To find out more about the café or to join call Debra on 01793 463687 or email debra.brown@seqol.org.