EMMA DUNN speaks to Sam Downe, who lost his 35-year-old wife Isabel to bowel cancer

WHEN Isabel Downe started suffering from a bloated stomach, cramps and iron deficiency, she put it down to her pregnancy.

Isabel, who was 33 at the time, and her husband Sam were expecting their first child when she first felt the symptoms.

But after Arthur, now 15 months old, was born the pain and discomfort got worse. At first, they put it down to recovery from the pregnancy but just after Arthur’s christening in May 2013 she started vomiting.

Tests and scans at Great Western Hospital revealed there was a blockage in her bowel, but this was just the start of her journey.

What Isabel and Sam didn’t yet know was that she had been suffering from the early stages of bowel cancer.

Sam, 33, who is a maths teacher, said: “We spent a whole day in accident and emergency and it got quite late. We were thinking ‘is anyone going to tell us what on earth is going on?’ Then they told us Isabel had a blockage in her bowel and they needed to operate straight away.

“The danger was it could have perforated at any time. It didn’t even cross my mind it could be cancer.

“Isabel was incredibly brave about it. She just told them to do what they had to do.”

Doctors explained the procedure before taking her to the operating theatre, and after saying goodbye Sam and Arthur returned home to Wanborough.

“I hardly slept at all. I was nervous and worried but at the same time I don’t think I realised how severe it was going to be,” he said.

“The surgeon called at 3am to say the operation had been a success but that he thought I should come in and talk to them.

“I went back in straight after the call and I saw Isabel sleeping. I went to the waiting room, where the surgeon told me it was cancer. He drew a rough sketch of the abdomen and told me the cancer had spread from her bowel.

“It was a massive shock. My understanding then was that there were things they could do. My initial question was to ask how long she had left. He said it looked like a number of years and I thought to myself we will make it longer.

“They kept saying she’s young, fit and healthy and she’s got Arthur so there’s a lot to keep fighting for. They were very hopeful it could be a lot longer than what they expected.”

Doctors wanted Isabel to have time to recover from the surgery before she found out about the cancer. A few days after she came round, and with permission from the ward sister, Sam told her about the diagnosis.

“The ward sister told me I should tell Isabel for my own good. She said Isabel was a brave woman from what she had seen of her so far, and that I should tell her so we could deal with it together.

“When I told Isabel it was her comforting me more than me comforting her.”

In June 2013, Isabel started six months of chemotherapy.

“She remained positive and we were very careful with infections and the food she ate. She had a lovely time with Arthur and she could still play with him and lift him up,” said Sam.

“She was so brave about it all and I don’t think she wanted to give away how ill and weak she felt.”

Isabel finished chemotherapy in December, just in time for Arthur’s first Christmas, which they spent with Isabel’s parents.

At this point, they knew her prognosis was just two years.

The family had fresh hope when they discovered pioneering surgery to deliver targeted chemotherapy straight into the lining of her abdominal cavity, which could have eliminated the cancer.

But just before the operation in January this year, surgeons discovered the cancer had spread even further. Too far for the treatment to work.

The family went on holiday to Italy together before Isabel started another course of chemotherapy.

Sam said: “At that point we knew we had six more months of chemotherapy and we knew that would probably be the last course they could give Isabel. After that there was no more they could do.”

They spent the last day of their holiday in Assisi but Isabel’s symptoms worsened.

She enjoyed a night with friends at the Royal Oak in Bishopstone and a spa day with her best friend when they returned, but was admitted to Great Western Hospital that week.

Her bowel had become partially blocked again, making her stomach bloated, but despite medication her symptoms weren’t easing.

She struggled to eat but managed to return home for a couple of days before she was readmitted.

On March 15, a week after being readmitted, she was sent to Prospect Hospice.

“We had our second wedding anniversary at the hospice and we had Mother’s Day there too. When we arrived I asked the hospice, with Arthur’s birthday coming up on April 12, was it likely Isabel would still be with us?

“They said it could go either way. When Arthur’s birthday came, we were able to celebrate in the hospice. About 30 people came down.

“Isabel was in a wheelchair but she was in good spirits. She got quite tired but she had a chance to see everyone. It meant a lot to her.

“It was about that time that Arthur was just starting to walk, so she was very happy to see that. He was just taking his first few steps and starting to make noises as well – everything was a dog or a duck noise.

“Isabel got weaker and weaker. On her final afternoon her brother came down and she was talking to everyone. She gave Arthur some bits of banana and we said goodbye not knowing it was the last time because she was so with it.

“She was very weak and frail but she was still aware of everything.”

That evening, Sam had a call from Prospect saying it could be a good idea for him to come back in. Isabel’s parents came too and sat with her as she slept. Isabel died on April 28 this year. She was just 35-years-old.

“It has been an unbelievable year. Before this happened, we had no idea bowel cancer could affect someone so young, fit and healthy. She didn’t smoke, she didn’t drink and she ate well.

“Isabel was always thinking about other people. She was worried about her parents and I, and she was worried about Arthur. She was always thinking about Arthur and making sure he was okay.”

Sam’s school has raised £1,700 in Isabel’s memory, which brings Sam’s fundraising total for Prospect Hospice to more than £12,200 so far.

He took part in the Starlight Walk with colleagues at the end of June and in August he will cycle 72 miles across The Ridgeway alongside deputy head, Colin Acheson-Gray.

A cup at Sam’s school has been named after Isabel, which is for spirit and bravery.

Sam thanked Prospect Hospice for everything they did, as well as their friends and family for their support.

“Prospect did everything they could, nothing was ever too much effort for them,” he said. To sponsor Sam’s Ridgeway cycling fundraiser visit www.justgiving.com/colinandsam.

Factfile

  • Early bowel cancer may have no symptoms and some symptoms of later bowel cancer can also occur in people with less serious medical problems, such as haemorrhoids (piles). 
  • The initial symptoms of bowel cancer include: blood in your stools (faeces) or bleeding from your rectum; a change to your normal bowel habits that persists for more than three weeks, such as diarrhoea, constipation or passing stools more frequently than usual; abdominal pain; unexplained weight loss. 
  • As bowel cancer progresses, it can sometimes cause bleeding inside the bowel. Eventually, this can lead to your body not having enough red blood cells. This is known as anaemia.
  • Symptoms of anaemia include: fatigue; 
    breathlessness. In some cases, bowel cancer can cause an obstruction in the bowel. Symptoms of a bowel obstruction include: a feeling of bloating, 
    usually around the belly button; abdominal pain; constipation; vomiting