Am I too old for sex?

I'm lucky enough to have found myself a wonderful new partner, something I never envisaged would happen after my husband died. My children are a bit shocked but they seem to like him, so the only problem is that I find our sex-life a little painful. I’m in my late 50s and, because my husband was ill for a long time, I’ve not had an intimate relationship for some time. I hesitate to go to my GP as I am sure he would not approve of a woman of my age having a sexual relationship, but I wonder if you could advise. HC

Fiona says

I’m sure your GP wouldn’t be in the least surprised because women considerably older than you are happily enjoying sexual relationships. The problem you face is quite common and has a lot to do with the menopause, which causes the vaginal tissue to become thinner and less elastic. Your doctor can prescribe creams which may very well help and you should ensure that you are well lubricated, using a gel if necessary. If your partner is using a condom, it may be that this is part of the problem and again a lubricating gel might help. I hope you are very happy together.

 

Friend’s husband is so boring
My best friend and I have been close since we started at secondary school and we’ve always done things together. We’re both married now but the problem is my husband and hers just don’t get on, because he is just so boring and, to be honest, I don’t quite know what she sees in him. We used to go out together as a foursome, but my husband has put his foot down and won’t do it any more. What do I do? The thought of not seeing my best friend is just impossible, but I do understand my husband’s point of view as the two husbands have rather been thrown together. EI

Fiona says...
Just because you and your best friend get on so well, that is no reason to assume the two husbands will too. If they can’t find any common ground then, inevitably, they won’t enjoy one another’s company very much. Why can you only see your friend with her husband around? Wouldn’t it be easier for everyone if you had girls nights (or days) out with just your friend? If going out as a foursome has become a habit, then perhaps start by telling some little white lies to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. Could your husband be studying or have to work in the evenings?