LAST year Jules Furness came out publicly as infertile. Tentatively the award-nominated vlogger uploaded the video announcing to the world she could never give birth to her own flesh and blood. She stared at her computer screen, her fingers lingered on the mouse. Finally, she pressed send.

“I was terrified of pressing the publish button,” she admits. “I thought I was going to be judged. Ten years ago I couldn’t have done it; I was so ashamed. I feel a lot freer talking about it.”

Infertility remains a huge taboo and like many women Jules spent years racked with shame, feeling inadequate, unable to live up to what she saw as her fundamental role, her right, her gift as a woman: to bring a child into the world. “Every woman should be allowed to have the choice to be pregnant,” she says, a pained expression flitting across her face. “It seemed to me it was the thing that makes you a real woman. I know different now.”

In her teens, Jules began to experience uncomfortable hot flushes and became unusually tired. She hid the symptoms from her parents but eventually attended a family planning clinic with her friends where she was booked in for blood tests. When the results came back the doctor unceremoniously announced she had premature ovarian failure and would never have children. She was just 15 years old.

“He blurted out, ‘You’re not going to have children,” recalls Jules, from Lyneham. “It was caused by an auto-immune disease but they didn’t know why it happened. It could be genetic or an emotional thing. Being a mother and having kids, that’s a right. To be told that’s not going to be there is a loss. You grieve what your future was going to be.”

Premature ovarian failure occurs when the ovaries stop working and cannot produce eggs. This means a woman effectively goes into premature menopause. It affects around 1 in 100 women before the age of 40 in the UK but is very rare among teenagers.

Stunned and overwhelmed by the questions coursing through her head, she returned home and told her mother everything.

A more helpful consultant at the nearby hospital in Norfolk shed some lights on the condition and its implications for the future. She would be able to undergo IVF with donor eggs. Although initially relieved at the news, she became plagued by shame and guilt.

“I would blame myself and think, ‘What have I done for this to happen to me?’” said the 34-year-old. “I tried to make sense of it. There’s a lot of shame attached to it. And you don’t know if you should tell boyfriends straight away or keep it to yourself. It was hard to tell them but I always felt it was important to get it out soon.”

For years the prospect of motherhood was both bittersweet and, in effect, abstract, until she met her husband Steve. They couple decided Jules would try to get pregnant through IVF, using donor eggs in 2011. She was then 30. Unfortunately, the attempt failed.

They later turned to adoption and, two years ago, welcomed Josh. When Jules held the boy for the first time, any lingering sense of inadequacy, of coming up short, vanished.

“It’s not until we adopted I realised you’re the same as every other mother and child. The love is the same. Josh surpassed every expectation of being a mum. How you become a mother is not a big deal.”

Despite her happiness, the stress of the adoption, assessments and weeks of uncertainty waiting to find out whether they would become parents took their toll and she suffered from post-adoption anxiety, a very little known condition.

“You feel this responsibility to get it perfect,” she says candidly. “And you still have professionals watching you for six months, there’s pressure. I was anxious about everything, whether Josh was OK.”

She received counselling and turned her focus to The Giggles Family, a weekly video diary following her son’s first months. She initially started the vlog on YouTube to ensure her husband, whose job took him away from home, did not miss any of the important moments. But it took a life of its own when in, summer 2015, she opened up about Josh’s adoption. In October she was shortlisted at the Mumsnet Blogging Awards.

In November, she took her courage in both hands and opened up in a video on Channel Mum about her struggle coming to terms with infertility and the heart-breaking years left feeling like an outcast. She expected searing judgement and carping criticism; instead many women contacted her with their own painful stories of infertility and failed IVF attempts.

“There are a lot more people with infertility than people think,” she said. “People feel like they need to keep it private and I did too. Until I was in my late 20s I didn’t tell anyone. Once I started talking to my friends about it, it helped. My aim is to be as honest as I can. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

Jules is preparing to embark on her next round of IVF in Prague this summer. Unfortunately, although couples are allowed three attempts on the NHS, she forfeited her right to the remaining two when she adopted. As going through IVF privately costs around £10,000, she opted to receive the treatment abroad at half the price.

Last month, Jules uploaded her first IVF diary video on her YouTube channel. She is hoping it will lift the stigma of infertility and open the door to dialogue.

“The motherhood side of me is fulfilled but I just think IVF would fulfil that last need in me to be pregnant,” she adds pensively. “I would like to be able to experience that. It feels like everybody else gets that choice but we’ve not been able to yet.

“Last time IVF was an emotional roller-coaster because it felt like all our hopes were pinned on it. But now we have a boy so it’s not as hard. If IVF doesn’t work at least with the diary I’ll have helped others going through it. I’ll just have to grieve not having a pregnancy and move on. IVF or adoption, it doesn’t matter how we make our family.”

To watch her vlog go to www.youtube.com/user/GigglesFamily.