I lied about my age

MANY years ago when I got married, I lied about my age. On my marriage certificate it said I was 36 when, in fact, I was 46.

I don’t know why I did this. I suppose it was because I was afraid my husband, who was only 34 when we married, would think I was too old for him. He never did find out how old I was and, since he has now sadly died, I feel it is silly to continue this fiction.

I’m worried, though, that I will be prosecuted when it comes out that I lied more than 30 years ago on an official document.

I’m not sure how you’ve managed to keep this a secret for so many years, but please don’t panic.

This is a lot more common than perhaps you’d expect, although these days it would be much more difficult as everything is on a computer somewhere.

Whilst it is never a good idea to falsify official documents, the General Register Office is quite used to making adjustments like this. Contact your local Register Office and ask for an appointment.

I am sure you will find people a lot more understanding than you expect.

He keeps teasing me

I’VE been married for eight years to a man who has developed a habit of teasing me and putting me down in front of other people.

He tells people that the house is a mess, that my cooking is dreadful and that my bum’s too big. He thinks he’s being funny, but it really embarrasses me, especially as he admits none of it is true.

I have told him repeatedly that I find his behaviour hurtful, but he says I am over-reacting and that he loves me. Is he right when he says I’m just being silly?

Absolutely not. Humiliation and criticism are not the actions expected of a genuine, loving partner, and your husband seems hell-bent on driving you away.

He needs to understand that his behaviour is unacceptable and if you can’t make him understand, insist you see a counsellor together.

If he’s not keen, make it clear that if he doesn’t stop his behaviour, you are leaving.