Worried about my aunt

My elderly aunt, my only living relative, lives on her own and is fiercely independent. My mum, a single parent, died when I was 11, so my aunt brought me up.

Recently she’s had a number of illnesses and she’s unsteady, but she won’t consider coming to live with me and my family. I’m so worried about her. She seems to manage reasonably well, but what if she had a fall? Can you think of any way I could persuade her to move in, or get help? J. D.

Fiona says: Start by finding out what help is available - if your aunt understands her options, she may be less reluctant to seek help. Age UK (ageuk.org.uk) can almost certainly point you in the right direction.

You might manage to persuade her, for example, to wear a personal alarm around her neck that she could activate in an emergency such as a fall. You might also look at accommodation options - some form of sheltered housing near you, perhaps, if she won’t actually move in with you. The Elderly Accommodation Council (eac.org.uk) helps people make informed choices about their needs.

He might not be her dad

My daughter is now eight and I’ve never told my husband she may not be his child. I had a one-night stand with an old boyfriend when our marriage was going through a rough patch, and although we got back together afterwards, the timing means it’s certainly possible.

We both love our daughter very much and I wouldn’t want to tell him she may not be his child, but I do worry about it. My ex-boyfriend and I haven’t seen one another since, and he probably has no idea. Should I try and find out who my daughter’s real father is? H. W.

Fiona says: A paternity test would confirm whether or not your husband is the natural father of your daughter, but arranging this without alerting him to the issue would be virtually impossible. I sense part of the problem is that you’re finding it difficult to keep your fears a secret, and perhaps what you really need is someone to talk to. I suggest you talk to the Samaritans rather than keep things bottled up.