Should we tell the truth?

I ALWAYS thought it best to protect children and that has sometimes meant not telling them the truth.

Now I’m not sure as my friend’s son, who is seven, said to me - out of the blue - that he thought the world was going to end as there are so many angry people in it. I was shocked, but said that there are a lot of happy people too, but was that a good thing to say, denying his concerns?

I think he sensed my insincerity and pushed quite hard to get me to agree with him.

I understand a lot of older children are desperately worried too, but what’s the best response for a worried seven-year-old? - DL

Fiona says: I don’t want to trivialise your letter, as there are indeed a lot of unhappy people in the world, but saying what you did was not telling him a lie.

Encouraging him to be optimistic rather than pessimistic isn’t a bad thing to do, but I would also try and find a way to tell children the truth, rather than to lie to them. Children need to learn early on that grown-ups don’t know all the answers.

You cannot take away all of a child’s worries, but you can help them find ways to live with them.

Is he going to leave me?

MY husband and I have been happily married for the last 23 years.

Recently he has seemed a bit depressed and I finally persuaded him to tell me what was troubling him. Apparently he ran into an old girlfriend (from before he and I got together), and found he was still attracted to her. She is recently divorced and, although he assures me he still loves me and that nothing has happened, he’s clearly thinking about it.

Now, every time he goes out, I worry it’s to see her.The end result is we’re rowing a lot. -TS

Fiona says: It could well be that your husband is going through a mid-life crisis and it has unfortunately coincided with an ex-girlfriend appearing on the scene.

Relationships, however happy they may seem, can grow stale, and perhaps there is something attractive in the novelty value of an ex-girlfriend.

If you can be strong and show him love and reassurance, perhaps this crisis will run its course.