He hasn't left his wife

 

My boyfreidn is married. I knew that when I started seeing him three years ago, but he told me his marriage was all but over and several mutual friends confirmed this.

Six months ago, he left his wife and moved in with me, but within four weeks, he left me to return to her.

He has stayed in contact with me and keeps telling me he loves me, how awful his marriage is and that he wants to move back, but should I trust him this time? He really hurt me when he left; he didn’t even have the decency to tell me.

I came back to an empty flat to find he had packed his bags and moved out while I was at work.

I love him, but I’m so confused that I just don’t know what to do. - TD

Fiona says: If his marriage is so dreadful, why is he still with his wife, and why did he sneak out on you?

There seems to be little about this man that deserves commitment from you, or inspires confidence. He has done nothing but hurt or confuse you, and frankly, I think you’ll only get more of the same if you continue to see him.

Put some distance between you (emotionally and physically), tell him not to call you until he is completely free to do so.

Make the break now and look for love with someone who is free to return your commitment.

How can I help her?

MY next-door neighbour recently lost her baby son, who was just six months old.

Naturally, she is absolutely devastated and as she’s a single parent and appears to have little or no family to call on for sympathy and support, I’d like to help.

I’m in my 70s and not able to get out and about much, but I wish there was more I could do.

Are there any organisations she could turn to for support as they would be more help than I can be?

You may not be able to get out and about, but don’t underestimate the power of listening.

I’d suggest she contacts the Child Death Helpline (childdeathhelpline.org.uk) on 0800 282 986 (mobile 0800 800 6019). It is run by volunteers, all of whom are bereaved parents, and backed up by experts from Great Ormond Street.

And do let your neighbour know that you’d like to help in any way you can — she’s fortunate to have you around.