We don't like mum's boyfriend

FOR the last six years, my mum has lived with a guy that neither my brothers nor I can stand.

To be fair to my mum, we’d all left home by the time he came on the scene, but none of us ever feel welcome at home these days.

He moved in to live with mum and now, as his wife has emigrated to Australia, his kids are living there too. Mum waits on them hand and foot and he does nothing.

He’s treating her like an unpaid housekeeper in her own house, and it’s making my blood boil. - TG

Fiona says: I can understand how this is upsetting you, but you need to find out how your mum feels. She may be quite content to look after this man and his children; some people thrive on being needed.

If she’s not, you can help her to put things right, but, if she is happy, I think you will have to respect her wishes and not interfere.

He won't kennel dogs

MY husband and I have been married for 22 years and have never been abroad for a holiday.

We’re planning to go to New Zealand to visit some friends, and we’d arranged to leave our dogs with a good friend, who now unfortunately can’t look after them.

I thought we’d just arrange for the dogs to go into kennels, but my husband has taken this to mean we’ll have to cancel the holiday. He’s made me feel guilty for suggesting this, but I can’t understand his reaction. It’s not as if the dogs haven’t been in kennels before when we’ve taken holidays in the UK! - LJ

Fiona says: Could it be that your husband is using the dogs as an excuse to get out of a holiday that he never wanted to take in the first place?

If you have only ever had holidays in the UK, it may be that there is something about international travel that bothers him. Is he afraid of flying, perhaps? Or is he worried about the long flight?

Could it be that he doesn’t really like the people you are planning to stay with?

Whatever the problem is, you won’t be able to resolve things unless you can get him to talk about what is really bothering him.