He just won't commit

I’VE been married three times and each one ended in a messy divorce. After the last one, I decided I’d never marry again and lived with someone for a while, but this relationship also fell apart.

I’ve now met someone else and would like a serious relationship with him, but he seems reluctant to commit and I’m worried I’m going to be hurt again. Although we spend a lot of time together, he’ll sometimes disappear for days on end. Once he was missing for two weeks and afterwards I found out he’d been away on holiday and not even told me. How do I get him to realise I’m serious and want him to be as well? -DL

Fiona says: Although you’re looking for a serious, committed relationship, your track record suggests this may not be happening for you. I can’t help but wonder if you are deliberately choosing men who are uncommitted.

I’d be very cautious about trying to push your latest relationship too far, as he certainly seems to want a more casual relationship than you do.

I suggest you contact Relate (www.relate.org.uk) and consider a few sessions of counselling that may help you understand better where things are going wrong.

Sister-in-law is over eating

I’M so worried about my sister-in-law, who just can’t stop eating. She was a big woman when she first married my brother four years ago, but since then, she’s just ballooned.

She has trouble catching her breath after walking up a flight of stairs, which makes it very hard for her to look after their child. Last week she burst into tears and begged me to help her. I’ve promised I’ll do all I can, but I don’t really know where to start as she’s tried every diet and slimming club under the sun already. - BL

Fiona says: Until your sister-in-law can identify why she eats uncontrollably, no diet or slimming club is ever going to help her keep the weight off.

Over eating is triggered by all manner of things - including depression. Rather than diet or slimming clubs, I suggest she contacts a more direct support agency. The National Centre for Eating Disorders (eating-disorders.org.uk) might really help her.