He's staying away

SINCE my son and his wife split up last year he’s stayed away from his ex-wife and their four-year-old daughter.

I am sure this isn’t good for him or for her and, what’s more, he has stopped visiting me as frequently too. I still see quite a bit of his ex-wife and my granddaughter and I think it’s why he’s staying away.

He and I have been fairly open with each other, so I’m surprised he hasn’t discussed it. I’m really missing my son. - DHL

Fiona says: You may well be right that he’s not seeing you because you are seeing his ex, but unless you talk to him about it, you won’t really know.

Don’t wait for him to make the first move, but call him and tell him you are worried about him and concerned that you don’t see him as often as you used to.

Encourage him to talk about his feelings regarding his separation; perhaps he feels you’re taking sides with his ex which is keeping him away.

Try and make it clear to him that your aim is to maintain contact with your granddaughter, not take sides in his relationship, and hopefully he’ll realise the importance of doing this.

My GP doesn't explain

OVER the past three years, I have suffered with a string of gynaecological problems; recurring cystitis, period problems and other infections.

My (male) doctor has always been able to provide treatment, but I’m still left feeling that I don’t really understand what the problems are or what’s caused them. It’s partly my fault because I’ve always felt too embarrassed about asking questions.

I don’t particularly want to change doctors as he’s very good, but is there somewhere I could go to discuss these kinds of problems? - LD

Fiona says: As you’ve had a history of gynaecological problems, I’m sure your doctor would quite understand if you asked to speak to a woman doctor.

Or you could contact Women’s Health Concern, a charity established specifically to help women discuss the kind of problems you’ve been facing.

Their website (womens-health-concern.org) will explain how you can make contact.