Is he cheating on me?

I’VE been married for 11 years and, on the surface, everything seems fine.

We’re not as close as we once were, but we’re happy in each other’s company and we go out together a lot. We have two great children, our own home and no money worries.

But I can’t help feeling my husband is having an affair and about to leave me any day now. I check his pockets and everything, although I’ve not found any evidence. -DL

Fiona says: Accusing him of cheating might go one of two ways.

On the positive side, it might give him an insight into how you’re feeling and explain some of your recent actions; he might then be able to give you the reassurance you need.

On the negative side, he might take it the wrong way and you could end up damaging what is, probably, a good marriage.

Nothing in his behaviour points to an affair, so do you really want to take the risk of bringing it up without solid proof? I think it would be better to share your worries.

Worried about my daughter

AFTER Christmas, my daughter plans to start renting a flat with some friends.

The news came as a real shock, because I thought that she was happy living at home. She’s only just turned 19 and I worry about how she will cope.

I also worry about her future flatmates, as some of them are a bit on the wild side. Should I be doing more to talk her out of this? -TS

Fiona says: I suspect this has nothing to do with her being unhappy at home and everything to do with her need to gain independence. She is an adult, with the maturity to know her own mind, plans for the future and the confidence to strike out on her own.

That’s not failure, it’s good parenting.

It will certainly hurt when she goes, but I think it would be a mistake to try to talk her out of it, as that could cause ill-will. Instead, be supportive and encouraging; offer what help you can and let her know she can always return home if she wants to.