He wants separate beds

Soon after we got married, my husband’s firm offered him a well-paid promotion. It was too far away for him to commute, so he rented a room during the week and came home at weekends.

His job made him really tired, but we managed like this for three years. Eventually it became too much for him and he persuaded me to give up our home to move in with him. I was sad about it, because I knew I’d miss my family and friends, but I thought it was worth it for us to be together. The problem is, now we’re living together full-time, he seems distant and lacking in affection and he’s even suggested we sleep in separate rooms. I don’t understand why he wanted me to move if he didn’t want me around and I’m not sure how to get the love back into our marriage. - AS

Fiona says: Trying to maintain a relationship when you’re forced to be apart is difficult and couples have to have a solid foundation, based on trust, flexibility and understanding. It seems you two never really had a chance to build that foundation and I sense a great deal of resentment from you about what’s happened.

That’s hardly surprising, as your husband is now distant and cold, but perhaps he has concerns too that he hasn’t expressed to you?

There is no reason why you can’t rebuild the trust you need. But clearly, in order to find out what’s wrong, you both need to express your concerns.

We've lost our spark

We’ve been trying for a baby for almost three years and have visited all sorts of specialists.

The whole process has been upsetting and embarrassing, but we’ve tried to be patient. What I’m finding particularly hard, is the advice to coincide love making with times when I’m at my most fertile. It makes the whole thing seem more like a routine surgical procedure rather than making love? - TD

Fiona says: While it’s sound advice for you to make love when you’re at your most fertile, there’s nothing to say you can’t make love at other times too. Sex can continue to sometimes be spontaneous which will take some of the pressure off the way you feel now.