My ex is being threatening

A COUPLE of months ago I bumped into an old boyfriend.

I hadn’t seen him for three years when we were at university together, but, after more than a few drinks, we ended up in bed together.

I know it was stupid, as I’ve been happily in a relationship with a man for the past two years.

What’s worse is, my old boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex with him again. I saw him last week to try and tell him to stop pressuring me, but he forced me to go back to his place again, threatening to tell my boyfriend if I didn’t.

I got away from him as soon as I could, but he has continued to send threatening texts since then. I am so frightened. - DL

Fiona says: I know you are frightened, but I suggest you tell your ex he is committing a criminal offence and that you will report the blackmail to the police if he doesn’t stop.

Hopefully this will make him see sense but, if he continues to put pressure on you, would you be able to confide in your boyfriend?

You’ll have to assess how you think he will react to the news that you have slept with someone else.

If you think this is likely to go badly, please do talk to someone you trust.

Please also consider contacting the Women’s’ Aid helpline on 0808 2000 247 (www.womensaid.org.uk). It offers support for any woman affected by controlling or threatening behaviour.

I want to see my daughter

MY ex-partner has told me I can only see my four-year-old daughter if she says it is okay.

Basically, this means I only see her when my ex needs something doing around the flat or needs a babysitter.

My dad says I should have a right of access to my daughter and says I should talk to a solicitor. Is he right? - BB

Fiona says: I agree, your ex-partner’s behaviour does seem unfair. I can’t comment on your father’s view that you should have access to your daughter, but it is generally considered a good thing for a child to have contact with both parents.

However, this is very much a legal issue and in all cases, it is very much driven by the rights of the child.

Given this, if you want to change the situation, you should seek advice, and a solicitor that specialises in family law would certainly be able to help.

Additionally, you could also contact Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk) a charity with a national helpline (0300 0300 363) that offers advice and support for fathers separated from their children.

It can also assist with any approach you make to a solicitor.