I'm dreading reunion

MY sister, who I haven’t seen for five years, is visiting from Australia next month and I am really looking forward to it.

The problem is, I have had a crappy three-month period during which time my job has gone part-time, my best friend died and I have had surgery to remove my gall bladder. And now I am just getting over a stinking rotten bout of flu.

All in all, I feel really run down and certainly not in the mood for the 24/7 party my sister will be expecting. To make matters worse, we have planned a big family get-together and my mother is coming to stay with us for the first few days as well and she and I don’t get on. - TT

Fiona says: You have certainly had a rough few months, but it would be a shame to let this spoil what should be a happy reunion with your sister.

If you’re worried about keeping up with her during her visit, perhaps have a quiet word before she arrives and tell her what’s been happening.

Your mother, though, is an altogether trickier problem. It will require you to be both firm and tactful if it’s not to get overly confrontational. Let her know that you value her support, but stress that you don’t want things to continue in this way.

I can't escape my past

Please help, I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown as I’m being plagued by memories of an incident in my past.

I have tried to forget it and move on, but I can’t shake it loose. People around me are noticing that something is wrong and I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.

I know you’re going to suggest a counsellor but I really can’t face telling anyone about it. Can you suggest a good self-help book? - BB

Fiona says: The only problem with self-help is that it requires a person to make a completely objective and honest assessment of their own problem.

You’d get greater benefit from talking to someone, if not a counsellor a trusted friend or family member.

In your case though, I’d suggest you call and speak to the Samaritans (www.samaritans.org.uk) where you can be completely anonymous. There is nothing you can say that will shock them.