MY EX-BOYFRIEND WALKED OUT ON ME AND OUR BABY - SHOULD I ASK HIM FOR SUPPORT?

My boyfriend walked out on me four months ago leaving me with a 14-month-old baby daughter.

Things had been strained between us for some time and he had been spending more and more time away with his job.

His parents didn't approve of me and he didn't think much of me either; he was constantly belittling me in front of his friends.

I was initially very upset, but I've come to realise that he wasn't good for me.

I find it difficult to cope with being a single mum and a friend suggested that I should chase my ex-boyfriend for financial support.

There's never enough money and although my parents help where they can, they don't have a lot of spare money. I also hate asking them for help.

I am not sure I want him in my life and I don't want to give him access to my daughter, but another friend suggested she'd grow up with less hang-ups if she maintains contact with her father.

That's assuming he even wants to help. He has a really well-paid job but has always been stringent with his money.

What should I do?

FIONA SAYS: YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY

I can fully understand your reluctance to contact your ex-boyfriend again as he sounds thoroughly unpleasant.

Like you, I don't think I'd want my child in contact with a man who could so easily abandon her.

I don't think you should be unduly worried about your daughter growing up with a single parent.

There is no real evidence to support the myths that children from single parent families grow up to be traumatised or somehow less happy or successful.

It's the quality of parenting that counts, not the number of parents delivering it.

On a practical level, if you're struggling to make ends meet, your ex-boyfriend has a responsibility for the care of his child and should contribute financially.

You need to start by asking if he would be willing to contribute regularly to his daughter's welfare.

If he won't, or you really can't face it, you could make a formal claim through the Child Maintenance Service.

Be warned: the process is not straightforward.

Applicants must first approach an agency called Child Maintenance Options which will initially try to encourage you to make your own arrangements with the absent father.

You will need to convince them that this is not possible before they will refer you to the Child Maintenance Service (CMS).

As I understand it, it is not possible to approach the CMS directly.

As I said, it's not easy, and for this reason I think your first step should be to approach Gingerbread (gingerbread.co.uk), a charity that provides practical advice and support for single parents.

It has lots of information that can guide you through the child maintenance process and operates a helpline (0808 802 0925) which I recommend you use.

You also need to be aware that, according to Gingerbread, almost half of absent fathers pay nothing and, even when a CMS agreement is in place, the average weekly payment is only £35 - £40.

As your ex-boyfriend earns a high salary you may receive more, but whether you think this process is worth the bother, only you can decide.

HOW CAN I LEAVE MY ALCOHOLIC MOTHER?

My mother is an alcoholic and has been for many years.

I still live at home, which gets me down, and I do everything for her including buying the food.

I even gave up going to university because I knew she wouldn't cope. I feel so trapped.

She's never been nasty to me (except when I try to hide her bottles) but she hasn't worked for years and I know that if I left she would fall apart.

I'm 22 now and want to leave but what can I do?

FIONA SAYS: THE SOONER YOU MAKE A BREAK THE BETTER

Your wish to help your mother does you credit but if you continue to prop her up like this, she is never going acknowledge she has a problem - let alone get help.

However, I suspect you already know that, as you've already tried to intervene by hiding her bottles, which hasn't helped.

You'll think this harsh, but you have a right to a life of your own and the sooner you make a break the better.

You've sacrificed enough already but you'll probably need help to take the first step.

To help you through this process I suggest you contact Al-Anon (al-anonuk.org.uk) which provides support to people affected by someone else's drinking.