Mum needs to get a life

When my dad died eighteen months ago, my mum sold her house and moved to live near me.

At first, I thought it was a great idea - I could keep an eye on her without having to travel miles to see her. The problem is, she’s practically moved in!

I wouldn’t mind so much if she was easy to get on with, but she isn’t. She’s always criticising me, my home, my family, my cooking, cleaning... everything!

She moans constantly about being lonely but won’t do anything to try to make new friends. She isn’t even old; she’s only 68 so this could go on for years! - DL

Fiona says: I’m almost certain your mother is still grieving and anger is one of the many phases of grief; she is taking her frustrations out on you because she can’t tell your father how she feels.

Did your mother have any kind of emotional help or counselling? If she didn’t, it’s not too late for her to seek help - your GP or a local counselling service might help. She could also contact Cruse Bereavement Care (cruse.org.uk) or, at least, look through their website to gain a little more understanding about her feelings.

Can't accept abortion

Because of some difficult circumstances, I had to terminate a pregnancy late last year. It was a hard decision but at the time, I was quite sure it was the right thing to do.

Since then, though, I can’t get over feeling guilty about it and I’ve often found myself crying for no particular reason. I’ve even started having dreams about the child it could have become.

I’ve no close friends or family I can talk to about this because of their religious beliefs and I feel dreadfully alone and unhappy. - PT

Fiona says: It’s not unusual to have feelings of guilt and regret after an abortion, however clear it was that this was the right thing for you to do. I hope you were properly counselled before the treatment took place, but if you were not, it isn’t too late to seek help now. The British Pregnancy Advisory Service (bias.org) offers free counselling to any woman who’s used their service.