Worried about baby

I'm due to return to work in a couple of months, after an extended period of maternity leave, but my son is only 11 months old and I'd much rather stay at home with him.

Despite this, the truth is that we need the money; the job I'm returning to is well-paid and I was always the main breadwinner in our family. Me going back to work means we won't be struggling to make ends meet as we are now, however expensive childcare turns out to be.

The problem is that I hate the thought of leaving our baby with a stranger. How do you go about finding good childcare and are these services checked in any way?

Please don't get too stressed by this. While it is an important decision, it shouldn't be one that makes you ill. That said, I completely understand your reluctance to return to work and place your son in the care of someone else.

It can be a hugely emotional transition and you're right to be concerned about finding the right care. While news headlines can be worrying, it is important to realise that these incidents are isolated - that is what makes them headlines.

Most childminding services and nurseries must be registered with Ofsted (the Office for Standards in Education, Children's Services and Skills) - the body that ensures standards are being met and that children are safe.

You can also do your own checks by visiting the nursery or childminder and chatting with other parents. You could also request references if that's appropriate.

Visit the Family and Childcare Trust (familyandchildcaretrust.org) and look at their guides.

I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH MY STEPMOTHER'S EX-HUSBAND

My stepmother and her ex-husband parted amicably, so when she married my dad, he came to the wedding. That's where I met him, and I have been going out with him ever since.

I never intended for this to happen, especially as he's 15 years older than me, but we fell in love and now we want to get married too. I've been keeping it a secret from the rest of family, because I thought they would disapprove, and I'm especially worried about how my dad is going to react. Any ideas on how to approach this without causing a big scene?

The longer you leave this, the harder it will be, and there's no easy way to do it I'm afraid - you simply have to tell your dad and your stepmother.

I suggest that you start by saying that you met the man you now want to marry at their wedding, as that will immediately make them feel involved. The fact that your stepmother and her ex have an amicable relationship will surely make this easier than if they hated one another.