Why don't they like him?

Last year, I left my husband of 18 years to be with the man I now live with. I had known for some time I no longer loved my husband and he was no longer interested in me, so deciding not to stay in a loveless relationship was the logical thing to do.

My husband seems much happier now we’re no longer together, but our two sons (16 and 17) have taken it badly and make it very clear they don’t like my new partner. They behave very rudely towards him and try to run him down to me whenever they get the chance. How do I get them to understand that he makes me happy and that I’m not giving him up? -DL

Fiona says: Your sons probably find it easier to blame your partner for the break-up of their parents’ marriage, rather than accept their mum and dad no longer love one another. They don’t want to blame you or their dad, so your partner is made the scape-goat.

It’s hard for children to accept that parents have their own needs - it’s certainly very hard for them to imagine you can have any sexual needs, but a new man in your life makes it clear you do. They are old enough for you to spell things out to them. Explain that you love your new partner and that, while you realise this isn’t an easy situation for them, you would prefer them to stop running him down and being so rude to him. It may take a little while, but once they see you are serious about this, and that it is not just going to blow over, I am sure they will eventually adjust to the new situation.

I can't stop telling lies

Can you tell me how to get myself out of telling lies? I want to tell the truth, but it’s become a lifestyle thing for me and it’s destroying my family, so I need to stop. - BB

Fiona says: When someone lies for no reason, it’s usually because they lack confidence that anyone will be interested in them as they are. There is no point telling you to stop and tell the truth, because this has become a way of life for you; it’s part of you. Speak to your GP and ask for a referral to a counsellor.