MY COUSIN IS GETTING CARRIED AWAY WITH A HOLIDAY ROMANCE

Last summer holidays in Greece my cousin started dating the travel rep at the resort where we were staying.

She fell for him big time and he told her he loved her.

They've been on Facebook writing to one another since - although he's not written very often and his profile seems sketchy to me.

Now she says she wants to go back and be with him.

I'm worried he is just using her and has done the same with loads of other gullible women.

She's talking about giving up her job and she's so excited about seeing him again.

I know holiday romances like this never work out, and I've tried to explain this to her, but she's not listening.

How do I get her to see she's going to be really disappointed?

J. M.

Fiona says: Your cousin may be viewing this relationship through rose-coloured sunglasses, but you need to remember that not every holiday romance is doomed to failure.

There is a chance this man really does care for her, although the cynic in me tends to side with you.

Rather than try and stop her going, try to encourage her not to burn her boats.

Encourage her to go with an open mind and with realistic expectations.

Suggest she asks for leave of absence for, say, three months, rather than giving up her job completely.

Although they've been chatting on social media, they really don't know that much about each other and she may find she doesn't like him as much as she thought she did.

She could find that, out of season and with his family, he's a very different person and one she's not as keen on.

Once you've encouraged her to be a little more cautious, you then need to stand back.

She has to make her own decisions, whether they hurt her or not.

THEY ARE PUT OFF WHEN I WON'T SLEEP WITH THEM

Every one of the relationships I've had over the past four years has gone wrong when they find out I won't sleep with them until I feel we have a commitment to each other.

They've all started well, but after about two months and the moment I point out I won't be sleeping with them, everything falls apart.

I was hurt in the past and I'm simply not prepared to become physically involved until I'm sure that a guy is serious about me.

Is this so wrong?

There must be some guys out there who don't immediately expect me to trust everything they say?

S. B.

Fiona says: I am sure there are plenty of men who would quite understand your cautious approach to relationships - many, indeed, who would respect it.

If the men you've been out with have been put off so easily, perhaps you are better off without them.

Are you, though, perhaps expecting a serious commitment a little too quickly from these men?

You say "after about two months" as if this is your cut-off time.

That's no time at all in which to get to know someone, and certainly too soon for most people to be thinking about a serious commitment.

So please, when you next meet someone, try not to immediately see it as a serious relationship.

I wouldn't even mention your personal rule about not sleeping with someone until you feel ready.

Just get to know the person, have some fun together, try and avoid things getting too serious and only tell him you won't sleep with him if he asks.

You don't need to make this a big issue, just say it's something you're not yet ready for.

If you have a problem and you'd like Fiona's advice, email help@askfiona.net