Our reviewer’s enthusiasm for food is put to the test at the Goddard Arms

The Goddard Arms 1 High St, Swindon Tel: 01793 619090

“IT’s impossible to know whether a restaurant is good or just average with you because you always love every single place.”

This is what my family and friends harp on about whenever I share my humble opinion on the latest eatery I have had the pleasure of sampling.

And I must admit they have a fair point.

I have a tendency towards over-excitement, and many a meal is the ‘best I’ve ever eaten’... until the next.

I just adore – yes adore – food and always have had. Each time I take a succulent bite of rare steak or cut into a slice of pie slathered in ice cream it feels like heaven, like I am tasting these delicacies for the first time. I’m like a child at Christmas. In short, I’m very easy to please.

Well, the Goddard Arms broke me – or at least cured my childlike amazement and enthusiasm for food in general.

I was never indiscriminate in my affection towards certain restaurants; I have standards. But I never imagined I could ever be truly disappointed with an entire meal from start to finish. You live and you learn.

We were on a mission to taste the Goddard Arms’ new winter menu, announced with much fanfare at the start of autumn.

As the weather had taken a turn for the worst, comfort food seemed just the thing to remind us of the joys of winter – sitting in the warmth over a steaming pie dish swathed in thick gravy while looking sympathetically out the window at passers-by huddled under umbrellas fighting gushes of harsh wind.

Call us silly but we waited patiently at our table to be served. But after a few staring contests with a couple of waiters, we decided to order at the bar. It turns out the pub offers bar service only – something which, for the life of us, we never saw a sign, notice, or received a messenger pigeon, for.

Our mistake.

We swiftly order corned beef hash (£5.45) to share. It came slightly burned around the edges but the first bite was pleasant enough. But as more and more oil began leaking from the concoction, our initial eagerness to tuck in faded.

My Rioja beef and chorizo slow-cooked pie (£9.75) followed.

My partner ordered the black and blue burger (£9.95) which, to his surprise, didn’t appear to contain any blue cheese. At least not that we could glimpse or taste.

The touted Portobello mushroom was just a cluster of finely chopped mushrooms – not quite what was promised.

As for my pie, the pastry was as white as snow. While the beef and chorizo were satisfying enough, if a little greasy, my pie topping was just raw; the dough underneath the first layer of crisp pastry was limp and sticky.

We had high hopes for pudding. It’s not every day that I find my favourite dessert, tarte Tatin – renamed Apple Tatin (£5.25) by the Goddard Arms – on the menu.

But disillusionment yet again was in store.

Crispy around the edges, the pastry promised to at least be cooked this time. But cutting through I discovered again a floppy chunk of dough.

The caramelised apples were also much too sweet.

My partner’s sticky toffee pudding (£4.95), while not quite the melt-in-the mouth dessert he expected, was an improvement on my sorry tart.

When the bill came – less than £40, including two glasses of wine – we were at least comforted by the thought that it was reasonable.

We got what we paid for, I suppose. MARION SAUVEBOIS