Joe Theobald, aka DJ Captain Wormhole, Looks at all things vinyl 

BOB Dylan won a Nobel Prize and Leonard Cohen died.

Both men are widely regarded as the greatest lyricists of the modern era, and whilst neither Dylan nor Cohen ever managed a line like “Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis” (all hail the mighty Guru), I have to concede that the pair certainly have/had a way with words.

The problem is, regardless of how well written their lyrics might be, I’ll never know, because I find their music utterly tedious. It’s just guitars and whingeing.

I’m not taking shots at these hippy-folk holy cows just to be contrary (God forbid!). I get that they’re seminal artists within their field and have made significant impacts on culture and all that jazz.

This is more of a confessional; I don’t really care for lyrics. I know people who can sing along word for word after a second listen of the latest chart success while I can just about manage the chorus to Love Will Tear Us Apart, a song I’ve probably heard in excess of 250 times.

I heard on the radio recently about a condition called face blindness — is there such a thing as lyric deafness? More than likely my brain’s just lazy because if I really concentrate the words do register.

Give me a bassline and drums anytime. Keys, brass, synth, guitars, it’s all ok. Hip-hop is a minor exception but even then its beats overflow and the words come last.

To tie this up in a little bow of irony I’ll summarise with another Guru lyric: “A lot of rappers got flavor, and some got skills But if your voice ain’t dope then you need to chill.”