Joe Theobald, aka DJ Captain Wormhole, Looks at all things vinyl 

I CAN’T stand miserable people. I don’t mean I’m a Tory, I don’t despise the poor, vulnerable and downtrodden. I mean the people who just insist on being morose. It’s like they never grew out of that adolescent hormone-ridden listless existential crisis Joy Division stage. Some people just choose to be unhappy, self-designated pessimists, absolute flanges.

The thing that annoys me about these reprobates is that whatever their original intentions might’ve been, they just end up being perpetually disappointed in the world, assuming that they’ve somehow been dealt a bad hand, blaming the exterior, failing to impose any transformation to improve their plight.

What these people need is to stop feeling sorry for themselves, relocate that locus of their identities, listen to more of that good good house and techno.

If you never learned that music makes you feel good then I feel for you. If you don’t feel good listening to music then change the record, put something good on.

If you don’t know any good stuff then try harder, a man/woman endowed with a quality record collection need never wallow in the pit of self-pity.

Building a library of quality mixes is a good start, lean on the knowledge and talent of our good friends the DJ’s; men and women who devote their lives to the search and play of great music.

As I write this column Kate Simko’s 2012 RebelPod mix is making me feel so nice I’m not sure that was definitely sugar that went in my coffee.

Craig Richards had some extra time on his hands towards the back end of last year and whilst we can all be thankful the OG Fabric resident is back to business as normal, his three hour RA mix came out last Monday and it’s pleasing to hear he put that downtime to good effect.

Comments are all positive as you might expect. I’m saving it for when the proverbial really hits the fan, like that old bottle of scotch they always dust off right before the 300 metre wave rolls up the Severn estuary or whathaveyou.