In an effort to keep this column hip and groovy I have adopted a new tactic.

I could have grown a beard that makes me look like an American Backwoodsman, bought some plaid shirts and started drinking espresso out of a jam jar but that wouldn’t make much difference in the medium of print.

Instead I thought I would get on board with the parlance of a Buzzfeed type article to really show that I’m down with the kids (do people still say that?), so...

This music journalist sat down to write a gig guide and what happened next will blow your mind. No?

How about... Here’s 11 gigs that only real music fans will attend. Or, When I saw what this guy had written I cried. Nah, it’s not really me, is it?

What about, get off your sofa, turn that TV off and go and support some real live music before I send a cultural hit squad round to sort you out! That’s more my style.

And for all of you concerned that the rotation of the same few bands around town is getting a bit predictable, Riffs Bar have a real treat for you tonight. All the way from San Diego, Black Market III mix soulful blues with red hot Americana, Clash style street punk with old school rock ‘n’ roll and are touted as a real “one to watch” band on the international circuit. Support comes from the doom-rock and art-punk experimentation of Sea Mammal and the soaring, grunge-scapes of DIRTE.

More hard, electric blues can be found at The Victoria in the shape of John Fairhurst whose band freely mix music traditions from the Mississippi shoreline to The Ganges Delta with bottle neck blues and psychedelia sitting cheek by jowl with Indian Raga and exotic eastern flavours. Think Captain Beefheart and Tom Waits jamming in a Kolkata teashop.

Also on the bill are Cook and The Case and personally it has been amazing to watch them evolve through solo singer-songwriter and chilled indie folk genres into a band of unbelievable dynamic shifts and extremes of light and shade. Their music is both reckless and refined but always beautiful.

At The Beehive you can catch the Afro-pop and roots sounds of Two Man Ting.

By Friday original music gets harder to track down but you can catch Tin Spirits at The Victoria who channel the sound of 70s progressive rock with their current writing but often treat the audience to some of guitarist Dave Gregory’s XTC back-catalogue.

Support comes from Steve Grimmett’s fundraising, classic rock side project Sound Bites.

Tributes can be found aplenty going into the weekend. Beatles fans should head for The Rolleston whilst next-door in Level 3 Jilted Generation return to evoke the glory days of The Prodigy.

On Saturday you can catch the music of The Stranglers at The Victoria and Iron Maiden at The Rolleston whilst out at Riffs Bar, Hot Flex play a range of classic rock covers with support from rock parody outfit Vinyl Matt.

A nice slice of punk history rolls into Level 3 on Saturday as ex-Adverts front man TV Smith joins the bill for this years Mick Love Memorial Gig.

Since the demise of The Adverts, Smith has carved out a highly respected solo career as well as touring with Amen and Die Toten Hosen – anyone who has heard of either of those bands needs to catch him live. The night opens with the Nu-wave, Bowery street punk from Strength in Blunders and goes out with a bang from Charred Hearts, over 30 years in and still fighting the punk wars on their own terms.

Sunday has some great acoustic offerings. The Lazy Sunday Afternoon at The Arts Centre Café features Light Falls Forward, a band whose EP Sleeptalkin’ I can honestly say is one of the most gorgeous new musical offerings I have heard in a while. They manage to capture a very emotive vocal sound and layer it over a cinematic soundscape that combines a lush ambience with enough drive to keep it in the realms of reflective and dreamlike rather than melancholy.

The equally elegant Faye Rogers and your hosts Mr Love and Justice are also to be found there.