RUFFLES, tick. Panto dame extraordinaire David Ashley, tick. Foul ugly sisters, tick. Outrageous pranks, singalongs and a dreamy prince for all those pining bachelorettes…tick, tick, tick. 

They say you can’t have it all, but when it comes to panto the Wyvern is of the ‘go big or go home’ school of theatrics. The team will stoop to anything to elicit a few chuckles, lay on the madness and single-handedly bring back polka dots, neon fur and the Marie-Antoinette pouffe. And, luckily for us, they are not above dangling a little eye-candy to win over thecrowd either.

True to form, this year’s wacky reimagining of Cinderella is no exception.

And it is just as well. With Swindon’s friskiest dame and notorious loose cannon, Ashley, marking the 30th anniversary of his panto debut at the Wyvern, and Corrie heartthrob Ryan Thomas fronting the show, children and adults alike were ready for nothing less than off-the-scale comedy and love-conquers-all romance.

In a liberal reinvention of the timeless fairy-tale, the downtrodden (but impossibly glammed up) Cinders is forced into virtual slavery as the scullery maid to her evil step-siblings. 

Cue the Fairy Godmother, who swooshes in to help her escape a life of drudgery for a few blissful hours to attend Prince Charming’s ball, where, after stealing the starry-eyed royal’s heart, the rushed-off young woman proceeds to mislay her glass slipper, as you do.

But all’s well that ends well. After a glut of gags, first-class floor-scrubbing, oodles of chaos, mindboggling wordplay and a few (live) Shetland ponies thrown in, the forces of good triumph over evil.

Cinders squeezes her tippy toes into the slipper and at last her prince recognises her as the beauty from his swanky ball. 

We ooohed and aaahed in all the right places, oh yes we did! We giggled when powerhouse  handyman Buttons held poor spectator Ian hostage, slapped him into an elephant-sized bra and serenaded him.

Needless to say it was a long night for poor Ian.

We hissed and booed at the bumbling and embittered Ugly Sisters. The jeering only seemed to give kooky double-act David Ashley and Louie Westwood a second wind, and boy do they enjoy a bout of wicked cackling.

And we adults certainly gave little ones a run for their money on the clap-ometre, not that anyone was keeping score. 

With gags galore, Madonna’s Vogue-inspired cone brassieres, catchy pop tributes and a showstopping finale, Cinderella is a corker and by far the best pantomime to grace the Wyvern stage - in the last three years at least!

We can’t wait to see how they trump it next year. 

MARION SAUVEBOIS