The birth sons and daughters of foster parents have as much to deal

with as anyone when a new foster child arrives in the home. EMMA DUNN spoke to some Swindon youngsters about their experiences

 

WELCOMING foster children into your home is a life-changing experience for everyone concerned.

Even the sons and daughters of people who sign up to become foster carers suddenly have to share their parents with other children.

Youngsters from across Swindon have spoken about their experiences of helping foster children as part of the Fostering Network’s national Sons and Daughters Campaign, which has been taking place this month.

Hayley Weeks, a children’s social care worker at Swindon Council’s Family Placement Team, said: “This campaign recognises the support that the sons and daughters provide to foster children. It is all about valuing what they do and raising awareness of their contribution.

“We don’t just use the term foster parents, it’s foster families.

“The birth children of foster parents can make or break a placement so we have support there for them as well.”

The Family Placement Team runs a support group called Kids United, which is for sons and daughters of fostering families from seven to 17 years.

Among its members are Gracie Bridger, 12, whose parents, Hayley and Richard, have been foster caring for two years.

Gracie, who has a brother, Charlie, 15, and a sister, Belle, five, said: “The three of us got used to having foster children around really quickly. We think of them like brothers. We’re so used to them and it’s like we’re all a big family. I am really glad my mum and dad foster.

“We are helping a child have a better life growing up because they might not have had a great background. We are helping them and hopefully they can go back to their mum and dad as a different child.

“We have to understand that sometimes it’s not their fault if their behaviour isn’t good and we let them off a couple of things because they might not understand the rules we have.

“We can tell they are happier now. One of them calls my mum, mum.

“It makes me really happy having them in our house. I play football in the garden with one of them and he teaches me some skills.

“I think this experience has changed me. When I was younger I was really girlie but now I am a lot more into football.

“In the future I would like to look after children. It’s just knowing that they are going to be happy. You just think of the children who don’t have such a good life but you’re helping to change them.”

Claire and Ronnie Shiell, who have two children of their own, have been foster caring for 17 years.

Their daughter, Maya, 12, said: “I talk to our foster children as if they are family. I think it helps them to feel more comfortable, which is important because then they feel safe.

“Some are quite quiet when they arrive but as they mould into the family they get more confident and start chatting more.”

Carinae, Arabella and Lawrence James’ parents have been foster caring for children with special needs for about a year.

Arabella, 14, said: “It’s quite a different experience when you first have foster children in your home because you have never seen them before and they are living in your house.

“I try to make them feel like part of the family by talking to them. It makes me feel good that we have helped to make a difference.

“Helping them has definitely made me more mature. It’s the kind of experience that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

“It has made me want to work with special needs children when I get older. I am thinking about working in a school, maybe a teacher for children with special needs.”

Fourteen-year-old Caitlin Chichester’s parents have fostered children ever since she can remember.

Caitlin, who has four brothers and sisters, said: “My parents foster babies and I think of them like another brother or sister. When they leave it is really sad because you have got used to them being there. We don’t usually keep in touch because we want them to get used to their home.

“I like fostering because I like having another person to get to know. There are some hard moments like when they start crying but it’s mostly good.”