X Factor's Jahmene Douglas is supporting Cosmopolitan's 'Real Man' campaign

Swindon Advertiser: Jahmene is supporting Cosmopolitan's 'Real Man' campaign with Women's Aid. Picture: Ken McKay Jahmene is supporting Cosmopolitan's 'Real Man' campaign with Women's Aid. Picture: Ken McKay

JAHMENE Douglas grew up in total fear.

His dad Eustace tortured and beat his mum until he didn’t even recognise her, eventually Eustace was jailed but it was too late for his brother who took his own life to escape the suffering.

Yet somehow the Asda worker from Swindon found the courage to not only carry on but to become the amazing inspiration he is every time he steps onto that X Factor stage.

In between rehearsals for this week’s show he took time to write this piece for for Cosmopolitian, which they have shared with the Adver,  and show his support for their Real Man campaign with Women’s Aid.

Because a Real Man would never hit abuse his family. A Real Man is Jahmene...

“The sad thing about an abusive childhood is that you cut it out," he said.

"My memories come and go, some are good, but most are bad. The one thing that will stick with me until the day I die is my mother’s screams. Hearing her scream for her life but being paralysed with fear, unable to move one muscle.

"We were under such an evil lock down of control that you wouldn't dare move in case one action resulted in something much worse. Nightmares upon nightmares build up from nights of those screams.

"It's one of those things that can't be fully described to the extremity of what it exactly is... you have to feel it to know it and to know what needs to be changed to help others. Domestic violence is in my DNA, it's in who I am. I'd rather be beaten myself than ever hear those screams again.

“My mother is a saint. She would go to hell and back to watch over her children to know that they are okay.

"I honestly believe I would not have survived to be here today if it was not for my mother. Now she is raising money and awareness for domestic violence refuges through Women's Aid who need a lot more support, funding and protection... I just want to help too ... [my mother is] an absolute source of unconditional love and never ending strength.”

“It makes me sick the government doesn’t seem to understand. Budget cuts will mean some refuges and domestic violence services will have to close. There is such little help out there as it is – the people at Women’s Aid are amazing but they need the resources.

"Women, children and men suffer on a daily basis. This is not something that happens once in a blue moon. It's sad the system doesn't understand it.

“The fear CAN leave you. I was living in fear for years after and it was just as bad as having him around. It flips your whole life upside down and steals your focus from life. I've been lucky to have grown from that stage now.

"The fear does leave but only if you help yourself. You have the choice to click self-destruct and live in depression or you can switch it around into rebuilding what was stolen from you. All it takes is time and enthusiasm.... Paint your negative into a positive picture.”

Words courtesy of www.cosmopolitan.co.uk

Comments (18)

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5:28pm Fri 23 Nov 12

WoodsideLady says...

Amazing Jahmene, I agree he is a REAL MAN with a real talent and wish him an incredible future. His mother must be so proud of him!
Amazing Jahmene, I agree he is a REAL MAN with a real talent and wish him an incredible future. His mother must be so proud of him! WoodsideLady

5:47pm Fri 23 Nov 12

salt and vinegar says...

Here we go again!!!
Here we go again!!! salt and vinegar

5:51pm Fri 23 Nov 12

TinkeyWinkey says...

Come on Advert you can't be that hard up for stories that you have to keep bringing things like this up.


Domestic Violence is not good, I know that myself, but we've heard this before, now leave the family in peace
Come on Advert you can't be that hard up for stories that you have to keep bringing things like this up. Domestic Violence is not good, I know that myself, but we've heard this before, now leave the family in peace TinkeyWinkey

6:16pm Fri 23 Nov 12

WoodsideLady says...

Hmmmm - They don't want to be left in peace.... they want to raise awareness of Domestic Violence and I personally think they're being very honest and brave.
Hmmmm - They don't want to be left in peace.... they want to raise awareness of Domestic Violence and I personally think they're being very honest and brave. WoodsideLady

6:23pm Fri 23 Nov 12

TinkeyWinkey says...

They've raised awareness WoodsideLady and that's a good thing, I can vouch for that from experience, but this is also pushing forward to the fact that it's near to the finals of the X-Factor as well.


I you've also been through it yourself you'd know it's good for people to be aware of DV, but mark my words once the X-Factor final is over you won't hear anymore of this story
They've raised awareness WoodsideLady and that's a good thing, I can vouch for that from experience, but this is also pushing forward to the fact that it's near to the finals of the X-Factor as well. I you've also been through it yourself you'd know it's good for people to be aware of DV, but mark my words once the X-Factor final is over you won't hear anymore of this story TinkeyWinkey

6:30pm Fri 23 Nov 12

WoodsideLady says...

Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!!
Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!! WoodsideLady

6:30pm Fri 23 Nov 12

WoodsideLady says...

Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!!
Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!! WoodsideLady

6:30pm Fri 23 Nov 12

WoodsideLady says...

Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!!
Well it's just so good to see something positive coming from a negative start in life. Swindon should back him all the way and vote vote vote - something for us to be cheerful about during these gloomy days!!! WoodsideLady

1:54am Sat 24 Nov 12

SomeoneWhoIsntMe says...

I wasn't going to vote for Jahmene but now I've seen this article I will!
I wasn't going to vote for Jahmene but now I've seen this article I will! SomeoneWhoIsntMe

9:23am Sat 24 Nov 12

I 2 Could B says...

Sadly, Mr Douglas is correct, the system simply does not understand.

The courts and judges do not take domestic violence seriously, they allow (usually) men to continually get away with these crimes until, in some cases, it ends in rape and/or murder.

As in so many cases, the judges' weakness and unduly lenient sentences ruins people's lives and actually results in the killings of some people. It's as tragic as it is avoidable, but they simply lack the understanding and will to change things.

That's the main reason why levels of domestic abuse are so high, the people that engage in this violent criminal behaviour know they'll get away with it or receive very, very lenient sentences.
Sadly, Mr Douglas is correct, the system simply does not understand. [p] The courts and judges do not take domestic violence seriously, they allow (usually) men to continually get away with these crimes until, in some cases, it ends in rape and/or murder. [p] As in so many cases, the judges' weakness and unduly lenient sentences ruins people's lives and actually results in the killings of some people. It's as tragic as it is avoidable, but they simply lack the understanding and will to change things. [p] That's the main reason why levels of domestic abuse are so high, the people that engage in this violent criminal behaviour know they'll get away with it or receive very, very lenient sentences. I 2 Could B

5:13pm Sat 24 Nov 12

itsamess3 says...

I.2.
On your hobby-horse again with your very biassed claims.
Perhaps you should study some case law which would tell you how judges hands are very much tied in dealing with domestic violence is concerned as they are legally bound--if possible-to provide a solution to rehabiltate the offender in order to keep the family together (HRA). They also have to allow social reports and psychiatric reports.
Agencies which are charged with compiling these reports are very much stretched due to budget cuts or lack of professionals.
We would all no - doubt like to see this type of violence stopped as more women are being brought to the courts and children of varying ages.
It could be years before the abused person has the courage to go to the police only to find they cannot gain enough evidence to make charges-possibly in many cases because both parties were injured.
What Jahmene is doing is raising awareness and supporting groups who can get something done by funding.
However-we do not hear of male groups and little of childrens groups to tackle their violence towards parents--why is that?
I.2. On your hobby-horse again with your very biassed claims. Perhaps you should study some case law which would tell you how judges hands are very much tied in dealing with domestic violence is concerned as they are legally bound--if possible-to provide a solution to rehabiltate the offender in order to keep the family together (HRA). They also have to allow social reports and psychiatric reports. Agencies which are charged with compiling these reports are very much stretched due to budget cuts or lack of professionals. We would all no - doubt like to see this type of violence stopped as more women are being brought to the courts and children of varying ages. It could be years before the abused person has the courage to go to the police only to find they cannot gain enough evidence to make charges-possibly in many cases because both parties were injured. What Jahmene is doing is raising awareness and supporting groups who can get something done by funding. However-we do not hear of male groups and little of childrens groups to tackle their violence towards parents--why is that? itsamess3

5:26pm Sat 24 Nov 12

I 2 Could B says...

@itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice.

How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing.

As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this.
@itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice. [p] How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing. [p] As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this. I 2 Could B

6:05pm Sat 24 Nov 12

timt1964 says...

someone should sue the adver for nicking "news" from magazines.mind you thats what heart fm are good at,always about a week late.like all x factor contestants,jahmene is jumping on any bandwagon that fits and shows up at the opening of a paper bag if it means more publicity for him.
someone should sue the adver for nicking "news" from magazines.mind you thats what heart fm are good at,always about a week late.like all x factor contestants,jahmene is jumping on any bandwagon that fits and shows up at the opening of a paper bag if it means more publicity for him. timt1964

6:48pm Sun 25 Nov 12

RichardR1 says...

Not his best, performance last night but still very good.
Not his best, performance last night but still very good. RichardR1

7:22pm Sun 25 Nov 12

itsamess3 says...

I 2 Could B wrote:
@itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice.

How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing.

As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this.
Pure nonsense--not worthy of a reply. How on earth you feel you would make a good councillor and reprisent the publics views is hypocritical at best.
I most certainly do not support any of your rants.
[quote][p][bold]I 2 Could B[/bold] wrote: @itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice. [p] How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing. [p] As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this.[/p][/quote]Pure nonsense--not worthy of a reply. How on earth you feel you would make a good councillor and reprisent the publics views is hypocritical at best. I most certainly do not support any of your rants. itsamess3

10:11am Mon 26 Nov 12

I 2 Could B says...

itsamess3 wrote:
I 2 Could B wrote: @itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice. How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing. As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this.
Pure nonsense--not worthy of a reply. How on earth you feel you would make a good councillor and reprisent the publics views is hypocritical at best. I most certainly do not support any of your rants.
'Not worthy of a reply'... so you go right ahead and reply. Speaks volumes.

Please do note the unduly lenient sentence handed down to Mr Douglas' own father for the horrific and extended criminality he engaged in.

Then come back and keep attempting to try and defend your judiciary friends and family.

And you have the nerve to claim that I'm biased.

By the way, why has your spelling got even worse lately?
[quote][p][bold]itsamess3[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]I 2 Could B[/bold] wrote: @itsamess3: the judiciary are at liberty to sentence however they see fit. They also have discretion to ignore maximum sentence guidelines if they believe it serves the interests of justice. [p] How ludicrous a system whereby judges encourage violent, criminally abusive individuals to stay within the family they are attacking and abusing. [p] As I have said before, and as you have just backed up, the sentencing actively encourages more criminality and increased levels of domestic abuse. I'm pleased that you realise this.[/p][/quote]Pure nonsense--not worthy of a reply. How on earth you feel you would make a good councillor and reprisent the publics views is hypocritical at best. I most certainly do not support any of your rants.[/p][/quote]'Not worthy of a reply'... so you go right ahead and reply. Speaks volumes. [p] Please do note the unduly lenient sentence handed down to Mr Douglas' own father for the horrific and extended criminality he engaged in. [p] Then come back and keep attempting to try and defend your judiciary friends and family. [p] And you have the nerve to claim that I'm biased. [p] By the way, why has your spelling got even worse lately? I 2 Could B

7:21pm Mon 26 Nov 12

itsamess3 says...

Oliver
Do not even attempt to justify your ridiculous rants as Jahmene gave his thoughts and feelings to Cosmopolitan which they allowed the adver to copy.
You have showed your ignorance of our judicial system--in this case--many agencies become involved--long before it arrives before a family court and the judges certified to deal with family matters--until a more serious offence has been committed.
The back up for the judge is to receive evidence from all parties to include interviews with any kids of the family aided by professionally trained welfare staff--who 9 times out of 10 do not want to lose their mummy or daddy--thats life. Likewise parents fail to report such violence at an early stage and lie to hospital staff.
Perhaps you could not be bothered to read another story on these pages where a man has been granted an appeal on human rights issues as he was incapable of knowing he was hurting his kids and the High Court ruled his trial to have been unfair as evidence to that effect was disallowed.
Give your unwarranted attacks on our courts a break as you know precious little of our judicial system-that is very clear--get over your obsession.
Oliver Do not even attempt to justify your ridiculous rants as Jahmene gave his thoughts and feelings to Cosmopolitan which they allowed the adver to copy. You have showed your ignorance of our judicial system--in this case--many agencies become involved--long before it arrives before a family court and the judges certified to deal with family matters--until a more serious offence has been committed. The back up for the judge is to receive evidence from all parties to include interviews with any kids of the family aided by professionally trained welfare staff--who 9 times out of 10 do not want to lose their mummy or daddy--thats life. Likewise parents fail to report such violence at an early stage and lie to hospital staff. Perhaps you could not be bothered to read another story on these pages where a man has been granted an appeal on human rights issues as he was incapable of knowing he was hurting his kids and the High Court ruled his trial to have been unfair as evidence to that effect was disallowed. Give your unwarranted attacks on our courts a break as you know precious little of our judicial system-that is very clear--get over your obsession. itsamess3

8:01pm Mon 26 Nov 12

itsamess3 says...

Perhaps you should follow the domestic violence story line on Coronation st--a well researched story--tune in you may learn something.
Perhaps you should follow the domestic violence story line on Coronation st--a well researched story--tune in you may learn something. itsamess3

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