Taking a sideways look at life: That's rubbish!

Swindon Advertiser: Taking a sideways look at life: That's rubbish! Taking a sideways look at life: That's rubbish!

WE’VE all been banned from leaving more than four bags of garden waste a fortnight out for collection.

It seems the council is anxious to avoid a repetition of last year’s problems, when ideal growing conditions caused a huge backlog.

While it’s tempting to criticise, doing so would also be a bit unfair. For one thing, there’s a recycling centre at Cheney Manor open to anybody who has a car or a friend with one.

For another, some of the people flouting the four bag limit have apparently been leaving about 40 on the kerb. Anybody whose land produces that much spare vegetation probably has access to a tractor and a combine harvester, never mind a car.

In any case, if we don’t fancy a trip to the tip, we have the opportunity to revive two splendid traditions of British horticulture: composting and bonfires.

For composting you will need a big bin, a load of old leaves, grass and stuff, assorted food waste and any old rubbish you can think of. Old rubbish, organic or not, is a traditional part of home-made British compost. Anything from redundant bicycle components and chemical waste to dead pigeons, discarded medical dressings and perhaps even the odd body part will give your plants, flowers and veg that special something.

You will also need worms and other invertebrates to break down the compost.

Dig these up from elsewhere in the garden. You may find that they suss out what you have in mind for them, primitive brains or not, and attempt to flee in terror from your shovel as you ferry them to the compost bin.

Harden your heart against their entreaties, no matter how pathetic the slugs and snails look with their little antennae clasped in supplication. Ignore the worms as they desperately wriggle to spell out the words: “Please God, no, not the compost heap!”

Be careful, though, if you’ve been too heavy on the chemical waste. There’s always the risk of those same beasties growing to the size of Neopolitan Mastiffs and coming after you one night with their hearts full of vengeance.

Alternatively, you might prefer to opt for that other summer favourite, the bonfire. Some people say bonfires are impractical for disposing of garden waste, as it tends to be bit moist unless you leave it for a few days to dry out.

Such people have no idea what they’re talking about. As any bonfire enthusiast in this fine nation knows, anything can be made to burn well.

It’s just a case of stacking it carefully to allow oxygen ready access, distributing the driest material evenly and then chucking an old tyre on the top so the burning rubber drips down over everything else.

If you don’t have an old tyre, improvise with anything else you have lying about that might be flammable. Random boxes of junk from the shed or garage are good, but if you like a laugh use a six foot wide roll of carpet and keep glancing around nervously.

Then the neighbours will think you’re a murderer.

Let's recharge our batteries - literally

THE Central Library is apparently under fire because it’s introduced a 50p a day charge for public use of its electrical sockets.

Seemingly some of the people using them to charge mobiles, laptops and other devices were becoming bored while they waited and then hassling staff and other library users.

Forgive me if I seem out of touch, but I never knew there was free leccy at the library in the first place. Had I known, I’d have been down there every day with my mobile, my laptop and every other chargeable electrical device I own, not to mention my telly, my games console and my microwave and toaster in case I fancied a snack.

Now I suppose I’ll have to carry on charging things in my home and paying for the power I use, just like everybody else. Oh, the unfairness of it.

NO SHOW, NO BOTHER

CERTAIN councillors have been accused of failing to turn up to enough meetings.

Various political parties accuse one another of this from time to time.

Before I muster any outrage in such cases, I like to wait for any evidence that a single policy decision would have been different had the missing councillors been present.

It’s been about 15 years and I’m still waiting.

Comments (6)

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8:33am Tue 14 May 13

Ringer says...

It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services.

Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them.

As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected.

Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week.
It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services. [p] Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them. [p] As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected. [p] Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week. Ringer

8:52am Tue 14 May 13

LordAshOfTheBrake says...

Ringer wrote:
It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services.

Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them.

As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected.

Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week.
The rubbish is collected by SCS.

SCS is technically a private company albeit wholly owned by the council!
[quote][p][bold]Ringer[/bold] wrote: It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services. [p] Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them. [p] As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected. [p] Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week.[/p][/quote]The rubbish is collected by SCS. SCS is technically a private company albeit wholly owned by the council! LordAshOfTheBrake

9:36am Tue 14 May 13

Inda UK says...

The advice for a compost heap is not good; borderline dangerous. You cannot just throw "assorted food waste and any old rubbish you can think of" on it.

1. No cooked food. Ever. It will attract the rats.

2. No meat. It'll stink and attract the wrong sort of wildlife.

3. No potatoes. You'll spread the blight disease.

4. If you add grass clippings, tear up a newspaper and mix it up with them. It'll stop the grass forming that horible green sludge and you wont get the smell that comes with it. Paper is high in carbon and most inks are soy based.

5. Snails and slugs will find their own way there. If you want to help the heap start, get a male friend to urinate on it. The nitrates in urine work better than anything you can buy. It's a Victorian tradition.
The advice for a compost heap is not good; borderline dangerous. You cannot just throw "assorted food waste and any old rubbish you can think of" on it. 1. No cooked food. Ever. It will attract the rats. 2. No meat. It'll stink and attract the wrong sort of wildlife. 3. No potatoes. You'll spread the blight disease. 4. If you add grass clippings, tear up a newspaper and mix it up with them. It'll stop the grass forming that horible green sludge and you wont get the smell that comes with it. Paper is high in carbon and most inks are soy based. 5. Snails and slugs will find their own way there. If you want to help the heap start, get a male friend to urinate on it. The nitrates in urine work better than anything you can buy. It's a Victorian tradition. Inda UK

9:51am Tue 14 May 13

Ringer says...

LordAshOfTheBrake wrote:
Ringer wrote:
It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services.

Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them.

As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected.

Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week.
The rubbish is collected by SCS.

SCS is technically a private company albeit wholly owned by the council!
In that case, there should be no barrier to any other private company setting up to offer the same service and the refuse collection element of our council tax should be optional, based on whether or not a household decides to use the council-provided SCS service.
[quote][p][bold]LordAshOfTheBrake[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Ringer[/bold] wrote: It's about time the council allowed private refuse companies the opportunity to provide our collection services. [p] Of course, they won't do that because it's such a money spinner for them. [p] As it stands most of us pay anything between £80 and £250 a month council tax and about the only thing anyone can be certain of receiving in return for that money is having their rubbish collected. [p] Seems an awful lot of money to pay for something that takes approximately 10 seconds per week, or every other week.[/p][/quote]The rubbish is collected by SCS. SCS is technically a private company albeit wholly owned by the council![/p][/quote]In that case, there should be no barrier to any other private company setting up to offer the same service and the refuse collection element of our council tax should be optional, based on whether or not a household decides to use the council-provided SCS service. Ringer

10:33am Tue 14 May 13

The Real Librarian says...

QUOTE
CERTAIN councillors have been accused of failing to turn up to enough meetings.

Various political parties accuse one another of this from time to time.

Before I muster any outrage in such cases, I like to wait for any evidence that a single policy decision would have been different had the missing councillors been present.

It’s been about 15 years and I’m still waiting.

UNQUOTE


Well for one thing Barrie, I am fairly certain that the WiFi decision was note given enough thought. Were enough people present.

Can I assume that if these people don't go to enough meetings they reflect this in their allowance claims.
QUOTE CERTAIN councillors have been accused of failing to turn up to enough meetings. Various political parties accuse one another of this from time to time. Before I muster any outrage in such cases, I like to wait for any evidence that a single policy decision would have been different had the missing councillors been present. It’s been about 15 years and I’m still waiting. UNQUOTE Well for one thing Barrie, I am fairly certain that the WiFi decision was note given enough thought. Were enough people present. Can I assume that if these people don't go to enough meetings they reflect this in their allowance claims. The Real Librarian

7:12pm Tue 14 May 13

Localboy86 says...

Lol
Lol Localboy86

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