THE toffs at Tatler magazine have branded Swindon and everything north of the M4 in Wiltshire a no-go zone for its upper class readership in a feature published tomorrow.

The high society title has dedicated eight pages to the county in its November edition and declared it the most happening region of the country right now.

However, Swindon has received short shrift in the feature, with a mocked-up map of the county branding it and everything north of the motorway a waste of time.

Chippenham is praised for attracting Eton schoolboy Dominic West, while Pewsey gets a special mention after Lord Mandelson recently settled there, in a feature focused on stately homes, high-powered parties and famous faces.

Matthew Bell, commissioning editor at Tatler, said: “Although Swindon has some of the finest facilities in Wiltshire, such as the Oasis leisure centre, three cinema complexes and a mainline station to London, its chief landmark, the famous Magic Roundabout, makes it a no-go zone for Tatler types.

“We wouldn’t want our readers to get sucked into its vortex and not find their way out. It’s safer simply to steer clear.”

In what appears to be a tongue-in-cheek piece, there is even a do and don’t list while visiting the county, such as subscribing to the Tedworth Hunt and bringing your own cleaner because good ones are thin on the ground.

Readers of the fashion and lifestyle glossy are warned neither to drive black Range Rovers, nor expect decent broadband or have a meltdown when you can’t buy chickpeas in Devizes.

But pianist Jamie Cullum said during his visit to Commonweal School on Monday: “It is great to be back in Swindon, to be just down the road from where some of my first gigs were in Pizza Express and in Indian restaurants that no longer exist.”

And Swindon’s politicians have, quite rightly, leapt to the defence of the town, slamming the 114-year-old title for its ignorance.

Justin Tomlinson, MP for North Swindon, said: “Swindon is one of the fastest-growing towns in the UK, attracting investment, new businesses and jobs.

“There is town centre regeneration, electrification of the Great Western mainline, award-winning parks and the proposed Oasis redevelopment.

“Tatler need to rely less on tittle-tattle in their office and come and see for themselves that we really are a town on the up.”

While Robert Buckland, South Swindon MP, said: “Quite frankly we have got everything to offer. They can visit the Steam museum or the National Monuments Record Centre, where they have photographs of the Victorian era.

“These are just two examples of how the north of the M4 is far from the frozen waste Tatler seems to be suggesting.

“The message is clear: come on in, the water’s lovely.

“We will welcome everybody, we don’t care who they are or where they’re from. This is a very cosmopolitan, welcoming town.

“The Tatler readership will find many pleasant surprises coming here.”