Mum-in-law is a bully

MY mother-in-law has never thought I was good enough for her son and has said some dreadful things to me over the last nine years. The problem is she is as nice as pie to me when my husband (her son) is around and so he’s never believed me.

Last week she was showing me some old photos and there was one of my husband with an old girlfriend. “She was a lovely girl,” she said. “We’ve never liked any of his other girlfriends as much.”

Then there was one of my husband when he was little and had blonde hair. She commented: “We were so glad when he turned dark, we’ve never liked blondes.” As you can probably guess, I’m blonde.

I’ve had enough and would prefer not to visit any more. One day I’m really going to snap! P.C.

Fiona says: You’ve never said anything back to her when she makes these remarks? You say you’re going to snap one day - well I’d say, it’s about time. You don’t have to ignore unpleasant comments - you can answer back.

For the last nine years, she’s thought of you as a push-over.

She’s going to keep pushing unless you stand up for yourself.

If you do that, either she’ll stop or else get more extreme, so your husband can’t help but notice.

A wee bit of a problem

I decided it was time to get slimmer and fitter again after the birth of my baby, so I started running. I’m surprised to find I quite enjoy it, but there’s a problem.

Since the birth of my last child something seems to have gone wrong with my bladder control. I find if I sneeze or jar myself whilst I’m running, I wet myself slightly. It’s really embarrassing and I’ve had to cut short my runs several times as a result. C. M.

Fiona says: You’ve almost certainly got ‘stress incontinence’, which affects lots of women following a “normal” child birth. Your pelvic floor muscles, which help control the opening and closing of the bladder, can get stretched whilst giving birth.

You can search online for how to exercise pelvic floor muscles, but even though you think it’s embarrassing, I would encourage you to see your GP.