Once the jewel in Swindon football’s crown, two years ago Andy Rowland lost everything: his job, his home, his sanity. Now over the worst of it, he is helping others grappling with mental health problems on the road to recovery. Here he shares his story with MARION SAUVEBOIS

ANDY Rowland was discovered face down in the bathroom at the Plough pub. He was rushed to hospital, swiftly sectioned under the Mental Health Act and held on a psychiatric ward.

What happened during the four months that followed is difficult to grasp, even now. The events that unfolded two years ago remain a blur, a series of unfathomable blanks.

“As far as I remember, one minute I was working behind the bar and the next I was spending weeks in hospital,” says the 60-year-old with a sigh.

“It’s vague. You have a tendency to remember what you want to.

“It was a blessing in disguise in some respects. I was not far off death. I was in denial regarding my alcohol problem, I was depressed. The only person I was kidding was myself.”

After retiring from professional football 15 years ago, STFC’s joint ninth-highest goalscorer reinvented himself as a pub landlord, taking over The Plough in Old Town.

But the inn failed to draw in patrons and the financial strain took a tremendous toll. Collapsing under the weight of responsibility and crippled by fears of failure following a thriving football career, he turned to drink to get through each day.

While on the surface he was no more than an avuncular publican with a penchant for a tipple, the cracks were starting to appear.

Dangerously teetering on the edge of the precipice for four years, depression and his dependency to alcohol eventually caught up with him. In the moment he was found unconscious on the bathroom floor in 2013 he had reached rock bottom mentally and physically.

After a few weeks at the Great Western Hospital he was transferred to the Applewood mental health ward at Sandalwood Court on Highworth Road.

“Working behind the bar took its toll,” explains the former player who also acted as coach, reserve team boss and caretaker manager during his lengthy association with the County Ground club.

“We were going to lose the pub. I was stressed and anxious and the drinking got worse.

“The last three or four years in the pub were the start of my downfall. And on reflection that’s probably when the mental health issues started, brought on by the alcohol and worry. I don’t think what happened really dawned on me until after a while at Applewood.”

He was eventually discharged and offered a home at Canal House, a supported hostel on Albion Street where he would remain for nearly a year.

Living in shared accommodation truly brought home the enormity of his situation. The isolation was extremely difficult to bear as was his complete loss of independence or agency over his life. This spurred him on to regain control and take his health in his own hands.

“It was a wake-up call,” he adds, balling up his fists. “I needed to get well. I spent that first year cycling, doing everything I could to get well again. But it was a hard transition. I found it very difficult to be anywhere, other than on my own. You feel isolated.”

Unable to return to work in his present state, he was invited to volunteer for mental health charity Swindon Mind. Andy had first come in contact with organisation while at Applewood.

Before his discharge he had spent some time at Oak Lodge, the charity’s respite home. There, with the help of Mind, he readjusted to life off the ward and prepared to reintegrate into society.

He was invited by its support workers to help inaugurate the new respite and wellbeing home, which offers patients two-week breaks to promote recovery or simply recharge mentally and emotionally, when it moved to Bath Road.

A year-long stint as a Mind volunteer followed until in October 2014 he was recruited as a full-time peer support worker.

This sees him set up and run a range of activities for the charity, to allow current and former patients to socialise, meet others facing similar struggles and share the setbacks and daily victories paving the lengthy road to recovery.

“Mind was a lifeline for me. Without the staff’s encouragement I would probably be quite lost. It encouraged me to pass some of this support on to other people. The biggest thing I learned is that I have got nothing to hide.

“Being able to talk to somebody about the problem has taken such a weight off my shoulders. People struggle with shame, they keep it in. Facing up to the issues and trying to get as well as possible was the road I took and I’m glad I did.”

Being able to relate to the patients coming through Mind’s doors has proved a welcome asset. For many, Andy has been a symbol of hope, of the fulfilling and worthy life within their grasp at the other end of the tunnel.

“They are quite surprised I can relate to what they went through and I think it gives them a bit of confidence. When somebody says ‘I was there and I was pretty ill but I’ve managed to get myself out of it’, they see we’re all capable to do it if we want to," he said.

“The activities, like walking or breakfast club, encourage people, help them along the way and help to distract them. We want to reach out to people to make sure that everybody who comes through our organisation gets enough attention and doesn’t just disappear. It's easy to feel you’re alone and that you have no-one.

“There are some people that are never going to be any better than they are but if you can make them better for at least that little part of the day, you can at least think to yourself ‘Well, that was worth doing’.

Returning to Applewood as part of his support role with Mind for the first time since his admission stirred up deeply-buried emotions last August.

“It was quite eerie and I felt quite uncomfortable looking around, seeing other people there and thinking, ‘Blimey that was me two-and-a-half years ago’. It was hard to imagine myself in that situation but the record shows that I was.

“It was strange. But it also brought it home that I’ve come a long way in two-and-a-half years.”

Despite his progress, Andy is under no illusion he is out of the woods just yet.

Lumbering painfully through the darkest time in his life has taught him there is no quick fix and sometimes no hope of ever fully recovering.

“I’m thankful I got a second chance,” he adds, a hint of a smile etched on his face. “I’m going to make the most of it; make sure to enjoy life as much as I can and give a bit back.

“I want people to know it can happen to anybody and mental health issues can be brought on by anything. I think I can still improve, it’s a long road. I look at this as my life starting over again.”

Andy runs a Monday Meet & Eat every week between 11am and 11pm and Friday Support, Connect & Be Active group from 11am to 2pm, both at the County Ground. There are many other activities available throughout the week including football, walking, needlecraft. Sessions are for Mind members only.

To become a member of Swindon Mind or to join one of the groups, call Andy or Paula on 01793 434558 or email admin@swindonmind.org. A full schedule of activities is available at swindonmind.org.

Factfile

  • One in four British adults experiences at least one mental health problem in any one year, and one in six experiences a disorder such as anxiety or depression
  •  Women are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem than men.
  •  Depression affects one in five older people in the UK.
  •  2.6 per cent of the population experience depression and 4.7 per cent have anxiety problems.
  •  As many as 9.7 per cent suffer mixed depression and anxiety.
  •  People aged between 35 and 59 report the highest levels of anxiety compared to other age groups.
  •  Young people aged 16 to 24 are more likely to report lower levels of anxiety compared with adults generally.
  •  Women and young adults aged 20 to 29 are the most likely to seek help for anxiety from their GP.