Swindon Equality Coalition and LGBT group put homophobic incidents in spotlight during Anti-Bullying Week

FROM seemingly harmless name-calling and throwaway jibes to relentless emotional and physical abuse, homophobic bullying leaves a trail of destruction in its wake with two out of every five young victims attempting or contemplating suicide.

As Anti-Bullying Week gets underway today campaigners from Swindon Equality Coalition, LGBT group Out of the Can and victims are calling on bullies to consider the impact of their actions and the destructive nature of their words before it is too late.

“Bullying is horrific,” says Seniz Mutlu, development manager at Voluntary Action Swindon, which coordinates the Equality Coalition. “And Anti-Bullying Week is an opportunity for us to reignite people’s thoughts on the impact of the words they use and any bullying on young people.”

As part of the week of action they are also reaching out to victims, sending out a clear message: you are not alone.

“Speak to a friend, family, or a teacher about it, don’t carry the burden yourself,” says Jo Sharpe, committee chair for Out of the Can, a group dedicated to support and empower young LGBT people aged between 13 and 19, on average, in Swindon.

“There are services to help in Swindon. You are never as alone as you think you are. And if it is bad and you’re worried, report it to the police as hate crime. Bullying can turn into hate crime quickly.”

Swindon Equality Coalition, which promotes acceptance, respect and dignity for all in the town, and Out of the Can first joined forces against bullying last year as part of the ZeeTee (zero tolerance) Campaign to clamp down on homophobic language.

The campaign along with many similar initiatives across the country was sparked by the suicide of 15-year-old bullying victim Dominic Crouch back in 2010.

Dominic leapt from the roof of a six-storey building near his private school, St Edwards in Cheltenham, amid rumours he might be gay after he was said to have kissed a boy during a spin-the-bottle game.

His father was subsequently named Hero of the Year by LGBT charity Stonewall in recognition of his efforts to end bullying in schools following his son’s death, but sadly took his own life in 2011.

“For this young 15-year-old it was too much to bear,” adds Seniz. “People don’t realise the impact of bullying on victims and their families.”

Zeetee first launched in Wiltshire in 2013 thanks to a police grant. It gathered momentum and was rolled out to Swindon the following year in a bid to educate students and tackle the use of the word “gay” in a derogatory or homophobic sense in schools.

Research into homophobic bullying as part of the project revealed that an alarming 56 per cent of the victims self-harmed and 32 per cent also said they had decided not to go on to college or university as a result of their negative experience at school.

“The Zeetee campaign was about making them think about the phrases they use like ‘Oh that’s so gay’,” says Jo.

“They use oppressive language not really thinking about the people around them who might be gay, thinking about coming out and might be upset and offended by it.”

While most people may associate bullying with physical violence or relentless verbal abuse, there are many ways, perhaps less overt but equally traumatic and hurtful, a person can be bullied.

“There is direct and indirect bullying,” explains Jo. “Indirect can be someone using the word 'gay' in a negative way near you, not knowing it could affect the person standing next to them. It could be overhearing a conversation about you or seeing someone laugh at you. Every type of bullying is harmful.”

Celia*, who came out as a lesbian a year ago, was subjected to relentless bullying in school, to the extent that she contemplated suicide as the only way to escape her tormentors.

“I refused to go to school,” says the 19-year-old, who joined Out of the Can two months ago.

“It was constant. It used to be name-calling, emotional and physical bullying. I came close to suicide. It got to the point where it affected my education; I missed a lot of school. When I went to college, the person who used to bully me was there as well and I couldn’t cope. It’s something that stays with you.”

Fellow member and transgender teenager Max*, came out as a lesbian at the age of 16 before deciding to transition from female to male two years later.

Contending with years of homophobic bullying pushed him to the brink of despair, he reveals.

“They say ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ but it’s not true; names can stay with you for a lifetime,” says the 21-year-old.

“I was bullied all the way through school. I was never sure exactly why but when I came out at 16 the bullying started getting worse. I felt so alone I started thinking ‘What’s the point?’

“I tried to kill myself. I opened the window and started looking down and just as I was about to jump my mum called me from downstairs asking if I wanted to watch Saturday Night Takeaway. I’m a big fan of Ant and Dec. I thought I could enjoy my last night and do it after the show. I remember Ant said ‘See you next week’ at the end and I thought ‘yes’. I stopped and thought ‘there is something to live for.’ You can’t give up.”

Since coming out as transgender, he has faced a fresh wave of abuse, intolerance and transphobic bullying.

“I’ve had people refusing to call me ‘he’. It’s hard. You constantly have to fight for yourself. I’m only 21 but I’ve gone through a lot, with all the bullying, the trouble it’s caused me and having to fight for myself and what I know is right.

“But I won’t let people put me down. It’s about educating people more. I’m going to fight my darnest to say to bullies ‘That’s wrong’.”

If you are a victim of homophobic or transphobic bullying or for support e-mail Jo Sharpe at ootc@hotmail.co.uk or contact Gail McVicar at Pride Youth Swindon (a group for 14 to 18-year-olds) on 0776 636 8361 or e-mail gmcvicar@swindon.gov.uk. To reach Swindon Equality Coalition e-mail stephenjhenderson@virginmedia.com.

* Names have been changed to protect anonymity