Dilemma about the Pill

I CAN’T make up my mind whether to talk to my mum about going on the pill, or just do it.

I’ve slept with two of my boyfriends so far and I don’t want to risk getting pregnant.

I know mum thinks I’m a virgin and I’m afraid it might hurt her feelings if she knew the truth. On the other hand, I don’t want her to find out I’m on the pill and I’ve not told her myself. I don’t need her permission, I’m 17 - but I would like her to understand. - GR

Fiona says: You obviously care about your mum and don’t want to hurt her, so you have a balancing act here.

You are worrying what would hurt her more - to find out you’re on the pill or that you haven’t told her.

I suspect her bigger worry would be that you’ve slept with boyfriends without any protection.

I don’t know your mother, so you are going to have to judge this for yourself, but your mother will worry about you, whatever you do - it goes with the job.

Think carefully about whether trying to protect her from the truth is going to make her more or less anxious.

Having twins is a shock

I’VE just found out that I’m expecting twins — something neither my partner nor I suspected and it’s a real shock.

There are none in my family but, as he was adopted, he doesn’t know much about his side.

I had planned to go back to work when the baby was about six months old as I earn more than my partner, but now I just don’t know how we’re going to cope.

We simply can’t afford two of everything and I’m so worried I’m seriously thinking of having an abortion, even though I really wanted a baby. - AB

Fiona says: I know you’re in shock, but don’t be panicked into making a decision you might come to regret.

Get in touch with TAMBA — the Twins and Multiple Births Association (www.tamba.org.uk). They can help with the emotional side of things as well as discounts on products you may need. Having twins won’t necessarily cost you twice as much.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help from friends and family and talk to your employer as well. It may be that you could work some days from home or work different hours so you can stagger the costs of childcare.