MICHELLE TOMPKINS unleashes her inner Bond girl in adventurous trip to London

IN MY mind I was going to look every inch the Bond girl, standing at the helm of my speedboat, zipping along the Thames with the wind whipping my hair, my hero's arm draped casually over my shoulder.

When it came down to it, I was wearing waterproof trousers three sizes too big - with my dress tucked into my knickers - and a raincoat with the hood pulled tightly around my face, which even then couldn't stop the Biblical rain penetrating through to my underwear.

"Raise your hand if you need us to slow down," said our driver, but there was no way I was letting go of the handrail. I screamed hysterically as he skidded into the bends and then bounced the boat at alarming speed over the resulting wake; mascara streaming down my face and that morning's careful blow dry a distant memory.

Bond girl glamour? Not exactly. But we were shaken, stirred and, at times, quite terrified on our London RIB Voyages ride along the river to see some of the capital's landmarks... and it was the best fun we've had in ages.

Our speedboat spin was the pinnacle of a trip to London designed to get our hearts beating faster with a series of thrill seeking, luxury adventures.

It began in the comfort of a GWR first class carriage (well, James Bond wouldn't settle for less) and our first destination was to be Battersea Heliport, where we were booked in for a 20-minute helicopter ride over the London skyline. Sadly, the Great British weather scuppered that plan from the off - 'too much cloud' (read torrential rain) meant we were unable to fly and, without a 007 jet pack to hand, we were forced to stay grounded.

Instead, it was over to the east of the capital for the next best thing - a 'flight' on the Emirates Air Line, the 1km long, 90m high cable car which links the Greenwich Peninsula - home to the O2 - and the Royal Victoria Dock (the ExCel).

Since opening ahead of the London Olympics in the summer of 2012, the airline has carried more than seven million passengers, including the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Novak Djokovic and World Cup winner Mesut Ozil, and what's good enough for them had to be good enough for us.

The 20-minute round trip gives access to some spectacular views across the city, even on a dull and cloudy day, and despite looking knee-shakingly high from the ground, is actually not that scary at all. Once we'd climbed to full height we were able to sit back, relax, and look out over to Canary Wharf, the Gherkin, the Shard, and even to St Paul's Cathedral in the distance.

I'm told the airline runs night 'flights' after 7pm every day, when the speed is slowed down and soft music is played into the cabins. There have even been a few wedding proposals on board. With the twinkling lights of London's skyline as the backdrop, I can see the potential for romance to blossom.

Romance is tricky when you're wearing a pack-a-mac, however, and our flight ended not with the popping of champagne corks, nor a ride in an Aston Martin, Bond-style, but a soggy splash through the puddles to North Greenwich tube station to head back to our hotel.

At least our room at Kensington House was more in the style to which we had (hoped to) become accustomed. It was warm and dry for a start, a real plus after a day of downpours, and with its sumptuous bed linens and cosy towelling robes, we soon forgot our soaking and started enjoying the high life again.

The boutique hotel, with its 19th century stucco facade, is virtually opposite the entrance to Wills and Kate's home at Kensington Palace, slap bang in the heart of the borough of Kensington and Chelsea, and it has all the luxury trappings you'd expect of place with such a prestigious address. Harrods, Harvey Nicks and all the designer shops of Knightsbridge are just around the corner, but best of all, it is just a few minutes' walk from the spectacular Royal Albert Hall, which, after a cocktail or two in the hotel bar - martinis... what else? - was where we headed for the evening.

The concert hall was officially opened in 1871 by HRH The Prince of Wales, who declared it open on behalf of his mother, HM Queen Victoria. The queen herself was present but too overcome with emotion to speak, as she was reminded of the love of her life, the late Prince Albert, who had died a decade earlier, never having seen the hall named in his honour.

All the greats have played there, from Wagner in 1877 to Bob Dylan in both 1966 and 2013, and on this occasion it was the turn of the great Belle & Sebastian. Sat in our Grand Tier box at the side of the stage in this magnificent venue, we felt truly among the elite.

I'd like to say the next day dawned brighter, but I'd be lying. The heavens opened once more during the night and didn't stop opening for at least 24 hours. But since when has a bit of rain stopped a thrill-seeker, eh?

After taking refuge in the shops (it would have been rude not to), we headed for the London Eye pier on the south bank of the Thames and our 50-minute, adrenaline-fuelled Ultimate London Adventure.

The first hint that it might be a bad hair day came as they handed out the waterproofs and checked whether anyone was prone to seasickness. The second came as the skies started to empty with unprecedented ferocity.

But our guide, Little Mike (don't ask), had seen it all before and his thick and fast banter was undaunted as we huddled together against the storm.

We chugged along under London Bridge and sped up a bit past Shakespeare's Globe. I began to think this thrill-seeking lark was a breeze. And then we passed the river police station, after which the speed limit ends, and.... arghhhhh!... we took off.

To the sounds of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now and the theme from Miami Vice blaring from the stereo, the driver opened up the throttle of the Thames Rocket to an exhilarating 30 knots through Canary Wharf, and the white-knuckle ride well and truly lived up to its billing.

The driving rain stung our faces as we were flung from side to side, but somehow it all added to the adventure. We were wet anyway, what was the harm in getting even wetter?

It was only once we'd disembarked, a little weak at the knees, that I realised I'd have to travel home in my highly-dishevelled state. No hair or make-up artists for me. Just a seat in GWR's first class carriage and some very odd looks from the commuters.

Oh well, at least I lived to die another day.

TRAVEL FACTS

Michelle Tompkins was a guest of Kensington House Hotel, 15-16 Prince of Wales Terrace, London W8 5PQ. Rates start at £120, including continental breakfast. For more information or to book visit www.kenhouse.com or call 0207 937 2345

The Ultimate London Adventure with Thames Rockets lasts for 50 minutes and takes in 22 landmarks, including the London Eye, London Bridge, Shakespeare’s Globe, The Shard and HMS Belfast. Waterproofs are included. Tickets are £43.50 for an adult, £75 for a couple and £25.95 for children under 14. See www.thamesrockets.com or call 020 7928 8933

The Emirates Air Line operates seven days a week, from 7am to 10pm Mon-Thu, 7am to 11pm Fri, 8am to 11pm Sat and 9am to 10pm Sunday. The fare for passengers without an Oyster or Travelcard is £4.50 for a single or £2.30 for a child. Tickets can be bought on the day or online in advance at emiratesairline.theo2.co.uk/emirates-airline-tickets-html.html

Michelle travelled to Paddington with GWR. Advance single fares from Swindon to London Paddington are available from £11 each way. Buy before you board at www.gwr.com, download the free app, or call 03457 000125.

See www.visitlondon.com as your official tour guide to the city