MOTHER and toddler groups proffering emotional support, advice and a close-knit network are ten a penny but finding the same buttress for first-time dads is a different story entirely – even in our fast-changing times.

Or at least it was, until a trying time caring for his newborn alone for the first few weeks of his life, prompted Jon Horsley to reach out to fellow pops and launch Swindon’s only fathers’ playgroup, Dads About, last spring.

The group now counts a handful of committed members who meet every Saturday in Abbey Meads, their brood in tow, enjoy fun excursions to the park and cafes and offload their worries and the challenges of parenthood.

“A lot of fathers are seen as the bread-winners. They’re expected to take a step back while mothers go to groups with their children; and that’s the problem,” says Jon, from Haydon Wick. “But we need to change perceptions. Men need a place to bond with their children. And it’s giving mothers some time alone too – so it’s a win-win. There’s a lot of help for mothers but fathers is a different story.

“As a father, it’s really opened my eyes. I didn’t really know how to be a father or what to expect. It’s given me that support; that place to meet other dads, ask questions.”

First-time dad Jerry Charleston, from North Swindon, was one of the group’s very first members. He was turned on to the fathers-only club by his wife who spotted a post on Facebook. He has been attending with his one-year-old son Dylan ever since. Like other members, he found much-needed kinship at Dads About and gained insights into fatherhood he was not able to within his close circle of friends.

“I’ve got a lot of friends but either their children are a lot of older or they don’t have children,” explains the 38-year-old. “I didn’t know anyone else with a young child on my social circle.”

Making time to connect with his toddler was also key to the sales executive, who feared he’d already missed out on too many milestones.

“I work 40 hours a week and when I get home, it’s already bedtime so I don’t get to spend much time with my son,” he adds. “It’s just a good chance for me and my son to socialise. To me the group wasn’t unusual. It’s no different to joining a football club. It’s just people in a similar situation meeting and socialising with their children. And it’s new friends for my child to grow up with.”

Missing precious moments was also a source of concern for Jon, who travels extensively for work.

“I missed a lot of things when I was at work, when he first crawled, I missed all that,” confides the 36-year-old. “The only thing I did catch was his first steps. The group has helped me focus on Alex. You can feel quite guilty. So it’s important to set time aside when it’s just you and him and make up for that.”

The number of dad groups has grown steadily since 2010 with the majority cropping up in London and other large cities. Other parts of the country have been slower to latch on to the idea and explode the outdated notion that playgroups are solely mothers remit.

Dads About is not Swindon’s first father and toddler playgroup, Jon recently discovered, but it is the only one which has gained traction so far.

"For me it was a way to spend time with my daughters but also meet people," says member Sebastian Szcsesny, from Haydon Wick, who attends the group with daughters Laura, one, and Jagoda, three. "I moved to Swindon in May from Burton and I left my friends. It was an opportunity to meet new faces," adds the 30-year-old Honda engineer.

While some parents, like Jerry and Sebastian, see the club as an opportunity to spend quality time with their children and socialise, for others like Jon, it has proved a lifeline to navigate parenthood.

Having the responsibility of a child thrust upon us is never easy, but Jon never anticipated doing it alone for nearly two months. Yet, when his wife contracted septicaemia after the birth of their son Alex in April 2015 and was placed in intensive care, he had no choice but to muddle through with virtually no support.

His two-week paternity leave was nowhere near enough to allow him to look after his son properly so he had to take time off. Dealing emotionally with his wife’s condition, the aftermath of treatment while taking sole charge of round-the clock feedings took their tool.

“For just over a month and a half, I played mother and father because even after leaving the hospital she was not really well,” recalls Jon, who works in security. “I had to get on with it. I asked the nurses if there was any help available for fathers and they said no, only mothers’ groups. He is my first child and it was just a lot to take on without help. I never thought I’d be doing it all by myself.”

He began trawling the internet for advice, guidance and a support group in his area. Eventually he took matters in his own hands.

“I started advertising that I was going to start a group on Facebook to get the word out there back in February. But life took over and I left it on the backburner for a while.”

A month later, he resumed his search for members and a suitable meeting place. He settled on the Butterflies Family Centre in Abbey Meads.

It was far from plain sailing. Many people had initially shown interest online but getting them to actually walk through the door was no mean feat. It took three weeks for a small band of fathers to sign up.

“I persevered,” insist Jon. “I like to finish what I started. I knew I needed to talk to other dads.”

Attendance is still modest with just five dads on average each week but Jon is hopeful more will soon buy into the concept and shake up obsolete traditions. He is also keen to reach out to expectant fathers.

“I want to see this through and set up a community. I didn’t realise until I started how much work it would be but I’m going for it. It’s helping me and other dads and I’m not going to stop now.”

The group is open to dads and children up to five years old. Entry is £2 and goes towards the hire of the Butterflies Centre. To join, email jonhorsley32@gmail.com, call 07445 319842 or visit the Dads About Swindon Facebook page.