I've fallen for my boss

FOR the past four years, I’ve worked as PA to the managing director of a large company, and I think I’m in love with him.

He is kind, polite and supportive of all that I do and is everything that I’ve ever wanted in a man, but the problem is, he’s married.

He is very loyal to his wife and family and has never shown any interest in me, but that doesn’t stop me fantasising about him. I have even followed him home, and once I rang his home at the weekend, but hung up when his wife answered.

I thought I could be happy just thinking about being with him, but now my feelings are becoming much more intense. Should I tell him how I feel? - LB

Fiona says: You’re in love with a man who loves his wife — this isn’t a relationship, and it’s going nowhere.

Tell him how you feel and you lay yourself open to a painful rejection — even if it’s done kindly.

If he had any feelings for you, he would have given you an indication by now, but instead he’s made it clear to you that his loyalty lies with his wife and family.

Ideally, I think you should find yourself another job, but if that’s not possible, take an extended period of leave and go and do something completely different, preferably abroad. You need to shake your life up in order to break away from the trap you’re in.

My stepfather's a bully

MY step-father has been constantly nasty and aggressive towards me since I was a child.

I’ve never been able to do anything right in his eyes and he’s never allowed me privacy in friendships or phone calls.

My mum’s not a strong person and although she tries to tell him to stop, he just carries on.

I’m 32 now and still living at home because I can’t afford a place of my own, so I see no end to this. - RR

Fiona says: At 32, you really should be more independent, even if that means sharing a flat or renting a bedsit.

Leaving home may not be easy, but if you’re finding life intolerable, it’s probably your only solution.

You can’t force your step-father to change, so if you want your life to be different, you have to change it yourself.