“WHAT’S in a name?” asked William Shakespeare, and well he might.

The name in question this week is Easter – namely, the decision to drop it from the National Trust’s annual egg hunt held in conjunction with Cadbury.

This year, for the first time ever, it will be called Cadbury’s Great British Egg Hunt, which smacks of cashing in on all things popular, twee and British, like the Bake Off and the Sewing Bee. Less a trendsetter and more a copycat, then.

Apparently the great and the good – among them the Prime Minister and the Archbishop of York – are outraged that ‘Easter’ has been dropped from the Egg Hunt’s moniker.

Enter the voice of reason, the Rev Simon Stevenette of Swindon’s Christ Church.

The good vicar reckons it’s not worth getting in too much of a tizzy about because, “we want to be inclusive because Easter is for everybody, whether they’re Christian or not”.

A perfectly nice sentiment and one to be applauded (I’m a big fan of inclusivity)... but isn’t Easter supposed to be about the crucifixion and rebirth of Christ and therefore for, erm, Christians?

So, a quick recap. Chocolate manufacturers have cashed in on Easter for Lord knows how long by producing chocolate eggs, which appear on the shelves of our shops shortly after – and often before – that other great Christian festival of commercialisation, Christmas.

Therefore they could be accused of robbing Easter of its true meaning and turning it into a nice little earner for themselves.

After all, at no point in the Bible does anyone sit down and gorge themselves on chocolate.

Then, the Church itself reckons Easter is no longer purely a Christian festival but a time for everyone, regardless of faith, to have fun and hunt for eggs.

At no point is anybody saying chocolate firms should get their mitts off a religious festival, instead they’re arguing that the word ‘Easter’ shouldn’t be removed from a chocolate-based treasure hunt.

No one is saying take the Cadbury’s out of Easter, but everyone’s demanding Cadbury doesn’t take the Easter out of egg hunts.

The National Trust insists it is not downplaying the significance of Easter.

But it does seem to me that we’re all guilty of forgetting the meaning of it.

Of course, Shakespeare’s point was that whatever name you give something doesn’t alter it – “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” he goes on to say.

So just like Opal Fruits, Marathons and Nestles, Cadbury’s Great British Egg Hunt may have a new name but it too will be just as sweet.

The law really can be an ass...

THE scales of justice appear to be swinging wild and free again this week in Swindon.
I was both amused and bemused to read the case of a man who attempted to rob his victim, knocking him to the ground right in front of the police. 
The fact that he carried out his crime before the very eyes of officers is not the astonishing part, though.
The man in question was charged with robbery, which he admitted.
He was also charged with possession of a bladed article because he was found to have a pair of scissors on him, which could be considered a dangerous weapon.
And this is where you’ll want to scratch your head: prosecutors decided not to charge him with possession of the scissors because he said they were to help with his shoplifting and, that is to say, nothing to do with the attempted robbery.
You what?
That’s like being discovered with Semtex in your pockets on an aeroplane and saying ‘ooh, no, I’m not going to blow up the plane, it’s to use when I get to my destination’ and being offered and apology and a free G&T to make up for any interruption to your enjoyment of the flight.
I mean, I sometimes carry scissors with me, but I imagine if a police officer were to haul me down to the station as a result, one look through my bag at the various yarns, crochet hooks and knitting needles therein would satisfy the strong arm of the law that it’s got something to do with a hobby rather than a desire to break the law.
But if I said they were for my sideline in shoplifting, surely that counts as going equipped?

Bring them to justice

AS a number of people have been arrested we are not allowed to speculate on the case of the Kurdish Iranian teenager in Croydon who was beaten half to death by a gang of thugs.
We are not allowed to suggest the motives for such a crime, although it looks to be obvious.
We are not allowed to speculate on those arrested and whether or not they are guilty.
What requires no speculation whatsoever, though, is that those responsible for this heinous crime, whoever they may be, must be lacking in morality, compassion, brain cells and all those other components which make up a human being.
They are the lowest of the low and must be dealt with accordingly when they are brought to justice.
To leave a 17-year-old boy who has come to our country in search of a safe, healthy, happy future with a fractured skull and a blood clot on his brain is disgusting.
His condition has been described as serious but stable, and his injuries are not believed to be life-threatening. However, they will be life-changing, even if only in the sense that he will be less trusting of people and less certain of himself as a result of this brutal and vicious attack.
May those responsible have their lives changed permanently in return by having their freedom taken away from them for a very, very long time.