She's so much better than me
I WISH I could be more like my sister who is prettier and much cleverer than me.
I’ve always been the one who’s lagged behind; at 25, I’m two years younger and she’s done so much more with her life. She has a great job and a wonderful fiance and she’s full of plans about what she wants for the future. I don’t resent her because she’s too kind and loving, but I do feel a failure when I compare my life with hers. - DS
Fiona says: You seem to believe your sister has a perfect life but I’m sure, if you talked to her, you’d find that she, too, has her worries, fears and problems.
Your biggest problem is your low self-image and you see the differences between you and your sister as your failures.
They aren’t really failures - you are simply separate people with different lives. If you keep dwelling on the negatives, friends and boyfriends will lose interest. Look at all the good things about you. In fact, ask your sister, you might be surprised. You might also like to look at the Mind website, mind.org.uk.
Wedding day blues
MY boyfriend and I were together for three years and were very happy.
When we announced we wanted to get married, our parents stepped in and the whole thing became a nightmare.
They argued about whether it should be a church wedding, who should pay for everything and even what I should wear on the day. It got so nasty, his parents eventually told him to stop seeing me and we split up a month ago, but I miss him so much. - LL
Fiona says: I wonder if you were both quite as ready for commitment as you think. You were both too nervous to stand up to your respective parents and decide for yourselves what you wanted, and you split up because his parents told you to.
This all indicates to me that perhaps one or both of you had major doubts, or felt unready for the pressures of getting married.
Splitting up is painful. Give yourself time and, if it is meant to be, I’m sure the two of you will get back together. Make sure, though, that you are both strong enough to stand up for what you want.