With mum, dad and all three children deaf, life for the Sly family has its difficulties, but as they tell DENISE BARKLEY, they are determined to overcome adversity and carry on as normally as they possibly can

Meeting the Sly family for the first time is an extraordinary experience. Parents Gilson and Elizabeth and their three small children are all deaf and communicate with each other entirely through sign language.

Even little Chloe, just three years old, ‘talks’ in British Sign Language (BSL) and I get a shy wave, which means ‘hello’. Deaf babies start signing early on and Chloe could sign for her bottle – a squeezing hand movement – when she was just six months old.

When her siblings Jack, seven, and Maisie, six, arrive home from school they burst through the door and clatter about the kitchen. They come for hugs with their parents, but it is in verbal silence – this happy family, who live in Upper Stratton, let their hands do the talking.

I need the help of a BSL interpreter, Kimberlee Hitchcock, to communicate with profoundly deaf Elizabeth, 31, who was born into a deaf family in Plymouth. She boarded at the Royal School for the Deaf in Derby from the age of seven.

Her husband Gilson, 33, is the only member of the family who has any hearing at all – but it is minimal. He told me he has profound-to-severe deafness in one ear and severe in the other. He wears hearing aids and is able to chat to me.

“I was born to a hearing family, and my deafness wasn’t diagnosed until I was three,” explained Gilson, who also comes from Plymouth. “I was brought up orally, and went to mainstream primary school and then to secondary school, which had a hearing support centre.

“But I struggled – I wasn’t profoundly deaf so I didn’t fit into the deaf community, but as I had a high degree of deafness I didn’t fit into the hearing community either.

“I was lonely, frustrated and rebellious, and it wasn’t until I met Elizabeth and learned BSL that I found my deaf identity.”

The couple met 14 years ago in their late teens. Elizabeth’s brother managed a deaf football team who needed more players, and Gilson went along. They married in 2007 and celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary in October.

I asked the couple if, when they made the decision to start a family, they worried that their children would be born deaf.

Gilson was unequivocal in his reply: “There was no decision to be made – our view was if they are deaf, they are deaf, it is not an issue.

“The deaf community has a very rich culture and heritage and we are very proud to use British Sign Language. We were quite happy whether our children were hearing or deaf.”

More than 900,000 people in the UK are profoundly or severely deaf and, for 50,000 of them, BSL is their first or preferred language. Swindon, said Gilson, has quite a big deaf community.

He stressed: “Being deaf does not affect your mental or physical capabilities – the only issue is not being able to hear, so as long as we receive support we are able to learn and live normally.

“We hope that our kids can have normal lives filled with opportunity and they won’t be denied anything because they are deaf.”

An exciting opportunity presented itself for six-year-old Maisie recently when she starred in a short film called The Silent Child.

“We saw an advert on facebook – they were looking for a four- or five-year-old girl who was profoundly deaf and used signed language,” said Gilson.

“Everyone said she would be perfect for it, so we applied. She went for the audition on the Saturday with 100 other deaf children and we were told on Monday that she had been successful – we were so proud of her!”

In The Silent Child, based on a true story, Maisie plays Libby, a profoundly deaf child born to a hearing family who struggle to communicate with her, until a social worker steps in to help. It was written by and stars former Hollyoaks actress Rachel Shenton, 29, who is passionate about raising deaf awareness. Both she and director Chris Overton have become close friends of the Sly family.

“Maisie really enjoyed being in the film and would like to do more acting, she certainly has the talent and intelligence,” said Gilson. “She is a confident, happy little girl and maybe she could be the next Marlee Matlin, who starred in Children of a Lesser God – but we do know that acting opportunities for a deaf girl are few and far between.”

Gilson and Elizabeth put a lot of Maisie’s confidence down to her “fantastic” school. The Sly family moved from Plymouth to Swindon four years ago so the children could attend Red Oaks Primary School, which has specialist teaching for deaf and hearing impaired children.

“We learn to read and write in the same way as others,” said Gilson. “Deafness is a communication issue, not a learning difficulty.”

The Slys believe that BSL, which was recognised as an official language in 2003, is the key to making life more clear and simple, and should be on the school curriculum.

“They teach a whole range of foreign languages so why isn’t BSL on there too?” Gilson queried. “It’s such a useful skill being able to sign, and makes all the difference to a deaf person.”

Elizabeth cited a variety of everyday situations she struggled with, such as doctor’s appointments where she had to write everything down.

“If you can’t speak English an interpreter is provided by the NHS, but not if you are deaf,” she commented.

Going in lifts was worrying, because she couldn’t talk into an intercom if it broke down, and ‘signed’ theatre performances and subtitled films at the cinema were few and far between, though Swindon has better provision than many places, she said.

“Years ago I was in a changing room in Debenhams trying on a bikini when the fire alarm went off,” Elizabeth revealed.

“The shop assistants were outside the changing room shouting at me to get out – why couldn’t they just lean round the door and alert me, surely they realised I couldn’t hear them. I was the last one to get out of the shop and I was so embarrassed.”

Gilson said problems with communication were a recurring problem.

“People ring up and ask to speak to Elizabeth and I tell them she can’t use the phone,” Gilson added. “They say I can’t speak on her behalf unless she confirms she is there – but she can’t, so we end up with them having to send us a letter, and then us sending it back. It is so frustrating.

“We live in a modern world in so many ways, but as a deaf person you wouldn’t necessarily think it or know it. Lots of progress is being made, but there is still a long way to go.”

Gilson is currently looking for a job. In the past he has been a manager at a deaf project, an assistant bar manager and worked in shops, but issues with health and safety affect his prospects.

“I recently went for a job as a warehouse operative but they said they couldn’t take me on as I might not hear the forklift truck warnings,” he revealed.

“I told them, yes, but I can see the flashing lights on them and I have managed to get through 33 years without being knocked over, but they wouldn’t have it.”

Gilson and Elizabeth’s dearest wish is to start up a community group in Swindon where both deaf and hearing people could regularly socialise.

“Those who would like to learn sign language could interact with the deaf community,” said Gilson. “Deafness can be isolating so this would be somewhere for deaf people who lack confidence and don’t go out much to come and meet people - it would be a godsend.

“It would be for all ages, including children, and we would fundraise to keep it going.”

He would be delighted to hear from anyone who might be able to help with getting this idea off the ground, especially with providing a venue (email gsly83@googlemail.com)

The Sly family enjoy getting out and about and often go to events, such as bowling and trampolining, organised by Swindon and North Wiltshire Deaf Children’s Society. In the wake of Maisie’s film debut, they recently went to Wolverhampton for Deaffest, the UK’s leading deaf film and arts festival.

“At home, we have subtitles on TV programmes, but it’s difficult for Jack and Maisie as the subtitles disappear too quickly and we have to explain to them what’s happening,” Gilson said.

“At Deaffest they watched everything with sign language – something called Deaf Funnies had them in stitches, I’ve never seen them laugh so hard or for so long, it was lovely!”