RELATIONSHIP tensions reach boiling point during the Christmas period leading to increased cries for help in the New Year – but there are ways to tackle problems before they spiral out of control, a charity has reported.

Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon received 20 per cent more calls and a 47 per cent increase in web traffic to its website in January this year.

And the charity – which helps people suffering from loneliness, depression, abuse, homelessness, debt and other life-shattering events caused by toxic relationships – expects a similar trend this festive season.

By the time many couples get in touch strains have already reached crisis point and January remains the most popular month for divorces, with money worries at the top of the list of triggers.

Spending time with loved ones and extended family who may have different takes on the perfect way to celebrate Christmas, coupled with more alcohol being consumed, can also lead to family frictions.

But Relate’s research shows that, with the right support, 10 per cent of divorcees would have been able to save their relationships and 18 per cent would have coped better with their break-ups.

Relate counsellor Dee Holmes said: “There are some simple things you can do to survive this busy period with your relationship intact, such as delegating tasks and carving out that all-important alone time.

“Many people leave it until after Christmas to contact Relate and, while it is never too late to seek support for your relationships, the earlier you do it, the better chance you will have of resolving any issues and moving forward.”

Nearly three million people in the UK are in difficult relationships and last year Relate helped more than half of them get back on their feet.

The charity has come up with a list of common tension triggers and how to avoid them tipping over into full-blown crises to help families through one of the most stressful times of the year:

• Relatives assuming you will spend Christmas with them this year

Try to discuss your festive plans well in advance of the big day, considering everyone’s feelings as much as you can and if you cannot spend Christmas Day with them, find another time during the Christmas period when you can get together. Remember though, that it might be impossible to please everyone – try not to worry or feel guilty about this.

• Your partner tends to spend a lot of money on food and gifts

Relate’s research has found that money worries are a top strain on relationships and Christmas can place extra pressure on finances. Talk to your partner beforehand about what you can jointly afford to spend on food and presents. If the arguments persist, consider some counselling to help you better communicate about money and understand each other’s attitudes to it.

• A family member has too much to drink and makes hurtful comments

As tempting as it may be to react, take a few deep breaths and try to stay calm. Accusing them of having too much to drink could make it worse. Instead, you could say “I’m not sure Christmas Day is the best time to discuss this. Let’s talk about it another time.” If you feel there are deeper underlying issues you may wish to consider family counselling.

• The constant socialising is getting too much

Don’t feel bad about excusing yourself so you can get an hour or so of ‘me’ time. It will mean you are in a better mood when you are with your family, so it is in everyone’s interest. Even better if as a couple you can ensure that you have some quality time as a twosome.

• You have too many things to do and you‘re feeling irritable

Don’t suffer in silence. Explain to others in the family how you are feeling. See if you can delegate a few tasks and share the burden.

Contact Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon on 01242 523215 or 01793 495190 to find out more.