I’ve been married for 18 months and, initially, I was very happy. But over the past six months or so, I’ve become convinced that my husband has been having affairs.

It’s been driving me nuts; I’m at home most of the time because I no longer work, so now I drop into his office at different times of the day to check up on him. I usually apologise and say it’s because I miss him, which he’s accepted in the past, as he admits that he works very long hours - sometimes over the weekend too if there is a big project to manage.

It all came to a head last week when he caught me going through the call log on his mobile phone. He was angry at first, but when I burst into tears, he realised how upset and worried I was. I eventually told him about my fears and he did all he could to reassure me.

He said that he loves me and only me, and he also promised he’s not been seeing other women, but somehow this still isn’t enough. I really do want to believe him, but a part of me just can’t let go of this. It’s not as though I have any proof, so why can’t I trust him?

In the absence of any proof to back up your suspicions, and given his assurances that he has been faithful, it’s not easy to identify obvious causes for your feelings. Perhaps then, your insecurities stem from you, rather than anything your husband may have done?

Such feelings can arise for any number of reasons and a common cause is a lack of communication. Given your husband’s long hours, this could certainly have contributed to the way you feel. If you’ve not had a chance to talk about your new marriage and any stresses or worries this might have created, it’s no wonder you’ve started to feel insecure. Another alternative is that your feelings may stem from something in your past; perhaps from an insecure family environment while you were growing up? Or a previous relationship has failed because of an unreliable partner, or someone has treated you badly.

Any or all of the above might also have dented your self-esteem, which in turn could generate yet more feelings of insecurity. Whatever the cause, though, I think it’s important that you try to resolve these issues. Left unchecked, your feelings could develop into jealousy or even paranoia, which might have serious implications for your marriage, so please consider talking to a Relate counsellor (relate.org.uk) - preferably with your husband too.

Finally, your letter hints that you do not work, so I assume that outside of the demands of the home and in the absence of children, you have plenty of downtime on your hands. Lots of free time gives you scope to worry, so please consider developing new interests outside of the home.

What you decide to do is entirely up to you; it could be further education, voluntary work or simply meeting friends regularly. You might also consider going back to work.

You don’t mention why you stopped but if you don’t feel as if you have a purpose any more, this could contribute to your feelings of insecurity and lack of confidence.