Wasps are a huge benefit to mankind

I know a lot of people don’t, and I know some people suffer terrible allergic reactions if they are stung, which sounds awful, but I have a soft spot for them.

And I am more sympathetic to them than ever, this week, because there seems to be a smear campaign to turn these much-maligned creatures into even bigger scapegoats than they already are.

Some people on social media are now targeting our smartly dressed stripy friends, and circulating nasty libels about them by comparing them unfavourably with bees.

As is typical of social media, too many people are far quicker to bad-mouth their perceived enemies than they are to check the facts.

But a couple of minutes on Google is all you need to learn that wasps are a huge benefit to mankind.

Not only do they help to pollinate lots of plants, but they are probably the creatures we most have to thank for killing other creatures that are intent on destroying our crops.

Some researchers are even working on adapting wasp venom into a cancer-fighting drug.

So, rather than trying to swat him for gatecrashing your picnic, you should be patting him on the back.

Besides, the fear of a wasp sting is completely out of proportion with its frequency. In other words: people often go into a frenzy about the possibility of getting stung, but it rarely happens.

I can only remember being stung by a wasp twice in my life, so that’s once every 28 years.

And wasps don’t impinge on our world anything like as often as you might think.

For instance, you probably haven’t seen many wasps around, even during the current heatwave, and that’s because they generally keep themselves to themselves until August, and are gone again in September, even though we imagine they pester us all summer.

So for years I have had a strict policy of not only never killing a wasp, but going to great lengths to give him safe passage if the poor chap accidentally ends up between the blinds and the window.

But the main reason for this is not any of those I’ve already mentioned.

What I like most about wasps is they are so cool.

Bees are cute, it’s true, but if a wasp was a car it would be a Lamborghini.

With the possible exception of sharks, they are the creatures that most look like they were designed, rather than evolved, and if you look at it closely, a wasp is a beautiful work of art.

That’s a good enough reason not to swish him.

And I really think wasps are something of a metaphor for all the supposed threats to us that - when you look at them in the cold light of day, without your prejudices - turn out to be anything but.

In fact, the only thing I can fault wasps on is their terrible choice of PR company. I don’t know who is running the campaign, but they are making a complete hash of it.

It is probably the same people that rats are paying to do their marketing, because if there is one creature I think is as cool as a wasp, it’s a rat.

Wasps feature in one of my all-time favourite jokes, which I offer now, in return for you taking a more sympathetic attitude to the next wasp that buzzes past your ear.

I went into the baker’s and asked him for a custard slice and a wasp.

“Sorry,” said the baker. “We don’t sell wasps.”

“Well you’ve got loads in the window.”