He sleeps on the sofa

My son is in a complete state, as his wife of only six months thinks she may have made a mistake in getting married so young.

Also, because she needs space to think things through, she has forced him to sleep on the sofa. This has been going on for a couple of weeks and he doesn’t know what to do for the best, so I suggested that he move back home for a while. However, though the sofa is uncomfortable, he thinks his best chance of mending things is to stay put and help her get through this. I know she is only 21 (and he is 24), but how can you go from loving someone enough to marry them and less than six months later change your mind? I’m so angry. Do you think I should have a chat with her and point out a few home truths? - DB

Fiona says: Absolutely not. “Home truths” are the last thing she needs and venting your anger to this confused young woman will solve nothing. In fact, it more than likely will make matters worse. I know you want to help, but I think you need to leave these young people to sort out their own problems.

Moving out, even temporarily, might send the wrong message and give him less opportunity to talk with his wife. Continue to support him when you can, but be wary of being too judgemental about her and the problems they are having. You don’t want to say something that you may later regret, should things improve between them.

At mercy of her nurse

My elderly mother’s GP has arranged for a district nurse to visit her a couple of times a week. She can no longer leave the house and has a long-standing ulcer on her leg that requires a dressing to be changed regularly.

However, she is becoming increasingly upset by the nurse who, she says, is aggressive and bullies her. If she dares to stand up to her, the nurse apparently shouts at her and refuses to change the dressing.

Is there any way that my mother can be assigned a different nurse?

After a recent surgery, she is already very frail, and I am worried that the stress of this is just making her worse.- TZ

Fiona said: I think your mother’s first course of action must be to have a chat with the doctor who arranged the home visits. It would be good if this could be arranged as a home visit with you in attendance, rather than a phone call. Ask your mother to keep a record of what happens and if things do not improve, you may have to make a formal complaint and the Patients’ Association (patients-association.org.uk) can advise on how best to do this.