I have always been insecure in relationships. When I got married three years ago to a wonderfully patient man and I really thought that I could put these feelings behind me but before too long, I started to question him whenever he went out.

He always reassured me that nothing was wrong but I couldn't let it go. I also wanted him to call me regularly during the day. Last month he came home early from a football match and found me trawling through his work laptop. I was looking for proof that he was planning to leave me, and he finally snapped. We had a nasty row, which finished when he packed a couple of suitcases and left.

I miss him terribly and want him back. Do you think he could ever forgive me?

He might, but if he did, I think it very likely that he would require you to make a commitment to change your behaviour. This jealous behaviour seems to be ingrained in you, so you need to get to the root of it if you're going to change. Most cases of jealousy stem from insecurity; it's a belief that you're not worthy of being loved, so a partner is sure to prefer someone else to you.

A counsellor can help you to understand what you're doing and, hopefully why. There are several online resources you can look at too, including the NHS website (nhs.uk) and the Relate site (relate.org.uk).

Why do I care what my mother-in-law thinks? Her house is spotless and ultra tidy. She's a great cook and seems to run her life and home in a really organised way.

On the other hand, our home is always untidy and I can see her wondering what on earth her son has married whenever she visits.

The last time she was here, I served up an oven-ready meal which she picked at for 20 minutes and then ignored.

I always feel so inadequate when she's around.

I love her son very much and we are happy together, so why do I care what she thinks?

Good question, why do you? Your husband loves you as you are and seems to be happy.

What's more, he seems to like the relaxed way that you both run your home.

If he wanted a 'spotless' home, he could have chosen to remain living with his parents. But he's not, he's with you - so please stop worrying about this.