Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If You're Reading This Today, You Must Be Alone Too (From Swindon Advertiser)

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If You're Reading This Today, You Must Be Alone Too

12:13pm Sunday 14th February 2010 in

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Hello young lovers and good afternoon on this beautiful Valentine’s Day.

I am currently sat in my underwear, with a fish pie in the oven desperately waiting for the Bolton Tottenham game to kick off. Those who don’t know me have 10 seconds to decide whether I am: a) A recently dumped singleton who’s lost the motivation to get changed and has only football and a fish pie for one to look forward to, b) An avid Spurs and salmon fan who puts his club over the love of a partner or c) A man in a loveless marriage who’s given up making an effort and thinks a good bit of Omega three is enough for the old dear.

......

The answer is in fact secret answer d) I am a young Arsenal fan whose financial situation has prevented him from spending the day with the one girl he wants to, resulting in a day stuck in front of the telly as his mother cooks him a seafood based dinner (cue the violins please).

The fact I was able to explain I was going to have to miss the most romantic day of the year, and retain my manhood, tells me I’m lucky enough to have the most understanding girlfriend on the planet. However, it made me want to treat her even more.

Now for all of the men who are screaming: “Valentine’s Day is a load of tosh”, I agree. It’s a classic example of capitalism and consumerism brain washing the public in to spending cash on cards and flowers. But so are Christmas, Easter and Mother’s day right? And I bet you wouldn’t dare not buy your Mum some chocolate or flowers on any of those days. So why should today be any different for the woman you love, the one that’s taken the baton of caring for you from your mother?

School, college and university are times where you stick with your mates on cupid’s day declaring “we don’t need anyone, rather have a laugh with you anyway” (mainly because the other option is staring at your bedroom wall with a tear running down your cheek).

But when uni ends and your back in your home town and, despite staying in touch with your friends, it’s your partner you speak to everyday and they’re the ones that take the brunt of it when you can’t find a job, desperately miss Bournemouth and moan due to not having a penny in the bank...ahem, just me then.

I do find it sad that it takes a national day (and corporations forcing you) to tell someone how you feel and I personally believe you should do it every day without being prompted. I mean, what is a bigger compliment than being told you are loved? Not just loved; it’s cute finding out your fancied by a stranger, admired by a friend or valued by a work colleague. So why not tell them if that’s how you feel, who cares if you’re only saying it because the day requires you to, you’re still doing a nice thing. If everyone else in the country is celebrating their relationships and declaring their feelings to someone, it must feel pretty poo if your partner doesn’t make the effort to see you.

And that’s why, although most men would kill to have a dinner cooked for them while they watch the football in their pants, I’d rather be down in Dorset right now.

-------------------------------------------------------- NB. This is what I had planned to post today, until my girlfriend surprised me late last night. Amazing. Mum’s still making me eat fish pie though.