On a visit to Nottinghamshire, MARION SAUVEBOIS learns about the British Civil Wars... and has a few struggles of her own

BEATEN, weary, we stood on the point of surrender. But retreat was not an option. Brandishing the wretched iPhone towards the heavens once again, we prayed for a sign - anything. Then, with an almighty boom, the voice of King Charles I resounded from the speakers.

Victory!

After 40min of, let’s be honest, pointless yet furious phone waving and shaking in the market square to connect to Newark’s temperamental Wi-Fi network (we had given up on mobile Internet long ago), the National Civil War Trail app, the largest in existence it seems, downloaded at last.

This may sound a tad dramatic and pales in comparison with the sieges which brought Newark to its knees nearly 500 years ago. But we had been promised cinematic wonders. Point the app at one of the interactive Civil War panels peppered across town and voila! history would come to life in the form of short videos. This was all good in theory. As we stared powerlessly at the information boards we felt as though we were waging a battle of our own.

We had been sent off on our merry way after a sneak peek at Newark and indeed the country’s latest attraction, the National Civil War Centre.

Newark may conjure images of a fortress in ruins towering over the relatively small town centre. A bit of clue, I suppose. And yet few of us are aware of Newark’s strategic role in the Civil Wars as the Crown and Parliament came to loggerheads for supremacy.

With Hollywood-style ‘reenactment’ clips of the conflict starring no fewer than 100 actors, projected on a cinema screen and an array of documents and artifacts on display, the museum is an impressive repository of civil war history.

“The civil wars caused huge misery; yet for many it is an unknown episode,” volunteered Michael Constantine, the centre’s manager, refreshing our vague classroom memories of the conflict. We had contemplated consulting our friend Wikipedia on the drive over but had caved and tuned in to Spotify instead. The benevolent Michael had read right through us. Absolving our ignorance, he started from the beginning.

The British Civil Wars were fought across England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland from 1638 to 1652. The First World War was a dreadful slaughter, claiming the lives of 700,000

British soldiers, or about 1.5% of the population. And yet, the civil wars saw about 4% of the population perish.

Newark played a crucial part in the civil wars because it lay at the crossroads of the Great North Road and the Fosse Way and provided an important crossing point over the River Trent. Parliamentary forces and their Scottish allies were desperate to oust the Royalist garrison. The last siege saw over 16,000 Scots and Parliamentary troops seal off the Nottinghamshire town and dam a river to stop water mills producing bread and gunpowder.

With the town cut off from the outside world, plague and typhus became rampant. Newark only surrendered on direct orders of King Charles, as part of a truce which effectively saw the end of the first stage of the British Civil Wars. Within three years King Charles was executed by Parliament.

While Michael may not be waiting by the door every waking hour to enlighten clueless visitors such as us, digital screens, the films afore mentioned, costumes (not merely for children - even adults will get a chance to dress up) as well as facsimile weapons are available, giving an insight into the lives of the townsmen and women caught in the crossfire.

“If Charles I had signed the Bill of Rights, the civil war would have been avoided,” he concluded. A sobering statement to end our visit. And off we went in search of signal to download the evasive application and follow the National Civil War trail which took us all the way to the Queen’s Sconce earthen fort, one of the major flashpoints during the war, and Millgate where we were made privy - thanks to a humorous video - to the unsuspected properties of urine in the production of gunpowder.

Just four hours after a light lunch at Stray’s, a cosy family cafe doubling up as a bookshop and an institution in Newark, our stomachs were crying for attention again so we headed off for a spot of dinner.

After another scuffle, this time with our Sat nav – technological glitches seemed to be the leitmotiv of the journey so far – we pulled up outside The Lambley, a charming and trendy not to mention mobbed (always a promising sign) gastropub with a mouth-watering menu to boot.

The obligatory flute of Prosecco in hand, my eyes darted to the specials board. I opted for the mackerel pate (£5.90) and roast half lobster (£14.90). How often does a pub list fresh crustacean on the menu? The tender flesh slathered in a rich beurre blanc sauce was simply divine. My partner chose a more traditional pub meal with deep fried brie and chorizo (£5.90) followed by an impressively-stacked beef burger (£9.90). Suitably sated, we hopped back in the car (the Sat nav safely stowed away in the glove compartment) and drove five miles down to The Purple Poppy Cottage in Burton Joyce.

Sandwiched between similarly quaint chocolate box cottages, this was not just any holiday home. Stepping through the door was an experience akin to slipping out of the wardrobe into Narnia.

This was the stuff of dreams; if the pages of The World of Interiors or Architectural Digest tickle your subconscious at night as they so often do me.

We were growing giddy just walking around the kitchen. The rustic purple range was a sight for sore eyes but swiftly forgotten when we spotted the disco ball hanging from the ceiling. This was soon trumped by the LED handrail in the stairs, which changed colour every few seconds. Every corner revealed new surprises, not least the ‘mouse house’ carved into the staircase and furnished with its own working Tiffany lamp. We were speechless. A basket of fresh eggs had been carefully deposited by the induction hobs with an assemblage of miniature jam jars – that was breakfast taken care of.

After a fight to the death for the LED handrail remote, we couldn’t resist cranking up Saturday Night Fever and switching on the disco ball. It was crying for it really.

My faith in technology certainly was restored.

It was with heavy hearts that we bid our Narnia farewell the following morning, but not before giving the disco ball one last whirl. Sherwood Forest was our last stop.

We could not well visit Nottingham without traipsing through the wood of legends. Sharing a name with Robin Hood’s paramour, Maid Marion, it seemed only right to pay my respects and gaze upon Sherwood’s prized thousand-year-old Major Oak, which folklore has it, was the outlaw and his Merry Men’s hideout.

Back on the road, the Sat nav unfortunately played up again. Frustration did not furrow our brow this time around. With strife as the running theme of our trip (what with bloody wars and now a fugitive hunted down by the relentless Sheriff of Nottingham) it was only fair for us to endure our own modest share.

FACT FILE

The National Civil War Centre at Appletongate, Newark, is open every day from 10am to 5pm. Admission is £7 for adults, £3 for children up to 16. Under-5s go free.

nationalcivilwarcentre.com

The Purple Poppy Cottage, 75 Main Street, Burton Joyce is 25 minutes away from Newark.

Prices range from £300 to £650 depending on the season for a three-night stay and between £540 and £1100 for seven nights.

purplepoppycottage.co.uk

Visiting Sherwood Forest, Edwinstowe, NG21 9HN, is free. There is parking charge of £3.

www.nottinghamshire.gov.uk/enjoying/countryside/countryparks/sherwood/

The Lambley is located at Main Street, Lambley, Nottingham, NG4 4PN.

www.thelambley.co.uk, 0115 931 3085.